Hi everyone, I have fantasized about visiting a dominatrix for a while. I am planning to contact some doms in my area. First thing I want to understand is should I use an alias or my real name? I don't want to use an alias and find out later that I need an id/verification. Please share your experiences.

I've been around the block a few times. Never have I been asked for ID. If I was, it would be a red flag. You are probably okay to use an alias.

Ive never been asked for ID so i think you are fine with an alias

With that being said i use my real name, personal phone number and email address. Im not sure that most would agree but i dont have a concern about being outed. honestly ive kind of outed myself at this point. I also like to be called by my real name in session.

I think whatever you are comfortable with should be fine. Have fun!

A new email should do it. However your last instructions will involve phone. Use text not voice, otherwise caller id would display your name anyway.

Some of these replies are wild. What kind of shady people do you all see?

Are you seeing an established Domme with a large social media presence that is verified on websites and screams legitimacy? Then what are you worried about? If you trust her with your body, you can trust her with your name.

Most Dommes (in New York at least) will ask for ID or two references. Nothing red flag about it. We get hundreds of IDs/phone numbers/etc, you're not special. You're seeing a Dominatrix-- not trying to steal the declaration of independence.

Clients don't realize but screening protects BOTH parties. How can you go to the location of a Domme who doesn't screen well and trust that it wont be dangerous / stalked by crazies, LE, etc? Screening helps prevent that. It also allows the Domme to feel safer which will likely result in a better time for both parties.

^ This! I have always used my name and cell number. I session with established Independent Dommes with good reputations (why would you session with anyone else) and I have never had an issue in 40 years of play

If you don't trust a Domme enough to not go through your stuff while you shower then you shouldn't be seeing them! LMAO

Same goes with showing an ID or real name, honestly. I know subs have privacy concerns... but if you do your research and read reviews you should be able to find real professionals that you won't have to concern yourself with whatever you think the consequences of sharing that info might be.

I don't care too much about having someones real name as long as they use the same name, email, and phone number consistently. I've only asked for ID before a session started in the rare occasion that the sub looked pretty young and I wanted to verify they weren't lying about being over 18.

Best advice when finding a Domme you can trust as a newbie is to make sure they have a website, lots of reviews, social media, and some sort of proof they've been around a while!

+1!!!!!

While I use an anonymous email when scheduling a session, if we proceed to an actual session (which happens 100% of the time for me) and there's a phone call or text to make the final arrangements, I have no issue with using the cell phone in my real name.

If I can't trust them with my safety in a session (which I do), why would I not trust them with a phone number?

This is such an ignorant argument. WE ARE VERIFIED. I show my ID and verification to Tryst, Eros, Fetlife (yes, even fetlife), Mistress Review, Niteflirt, every fucking clip site there is, etc etc.

Not to mention if we're not safe the word spreads like butter on hot toast and we'd be out of work in no time. This work is very expensive to maintain (ads, website, equipment, training, space).