Originally Posted By furfan
Do you think Dommes are reluctant to play too hard in terms of CP or other forms of discipline the first time out?


For me, it depends on exactly what they are asking for, my assessment of them, and if they have references. If they asking for an intense beatdown and their references say they can take a lot and are safe to play with I feel more comfortable. The reason is that when I don't know someone, I don't know how they will actually react to that type of play. Will they go to LE and say you assaulted them? I don't want to even have to deal potentially having to defend myself in court.

It's possible that if it's a less experienced Domme that she's just timid.

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I also find it hard to describe pain clearly and convey what levels are a limit. ... I usually say that I'm around a 7-8 where redness and stripes/bruising that last a week or so are fine but rarely seem to get that in a 1st session. It seems much harder to accurately explain levels for predicament bondage discomfort, CBT or electroplay.


That sounds reasonable. An experienced Domme should be able to figure out where your thresholds are, too.

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Any ideas for better communication?


It sounds like you're saying the right things. Maybe just emphasize that you like it intense and ask her if she conducts those types of scenes and is willing to do one like that with you.