I've had a 1st session with several Dommes in recent years and while most were very good it occurs to me that almost all were a little lacking in intensity when it comes to corporal punishment and other forms of discipline. Do you think Dommes are reluctant to play too hard in terms of CP or other forms of discipline the first time out? I imagine they experience many subs asking for too much in the excitement that proceeds a sessions and then wimping out.

I also find it hard to describe pain clearly and convey what levels are a limit. I've tried using a 1-10 scale for CP where 10 is open wounds from a singletail or a prison type caning and 1 is a slap and tickle sort of symbolic thing. I usually say that I'm around a 7-8 where redness and stripes/bruising that last a week or so are fine but rarely seem to get that in a 1st session. It seems much harder to accurately explain levels for predicament bondage discomfort, CBT or electroplay.

Any ideas for better communication?