I am coming late to this discussion, MissMary, but I think we are very much alike. Outside of the partners I am in an intimate relationship with, sex does not play a part in my BDSM play.

As a side note, I will share that once I started offering pro sessions, BDSM has played a lesser role in my intimate relationships. When you do something everyday it tends to lose its novelty and quite frankly I just don't always have the energy for it. Vanilla sex is fine with me more that it used to be.
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