Sometimes you just don't share chemistry in that first session. I always find these sessions disappointing. Usually I have no clue why the magic didn't happen and all My dissecting and ruminating seldom provides an answer. I take pride in what I do and when there is a misfire, I tend to take it personally. Thankfully it doesn't happen often.

What blows Me away though, is when the sub sends an email telling Me how great the session was and requests another. Were we not in the same room? Sometimes I grant a second audience and sometimes I don't. If I do agree to meet again, I always have a chat with the sub and try to get to the bottom of the issue. More often than not, I find out that they are just very stoic in session and are internalizing everything. They are having a great time, but are not providing Me with any signs.

I need that feedback. I want to hear you moan, suck in your breath, see your erection. It's what feeds Me.

As subs, do you feel you give proper feedback to your Mistress in session? To other Dommes: do you need this as much as I do?

In another thread I admitted to being a quiet sub. I try to be as stoic as possible but eventually the intensity breaks through my stoicism. I never saw that as denying the domme satisfaction. On occasion I have played the game from the Top with a few very masochistic women and love it when they start off very stoic (in some cases defiant) but sing a different tune before it's over.

I tend to be very stoic. I am comfortable talking about how I am doing when asked, but I am usually very quiet. However, my eyes will likely tell the story. I am very visual and very big on eye contact. If a Domme does not want to make eye contact with me, I can see how I could be hard to read absent some dialog.

First time sessions can be hard for everyone involved.

To both you and the thomas:

It's okay to be quiet. There are a lot of ways to communicate how you feel. I love looking into a subs eyes and seeing the longing, the fear, the excitement. I consider Myself a good read of people - their body language, actions, etc. - but occasionally I just can't see anything. It a blankness which I read as a failure to connect.

And I agree, sometimes first time sessions can be difficult, but sometimes they are pure magic. That's the dragon I love to chase.

Mistress since my sessions are more of the role play variety acting is involved at least for me. Before a session I try to get myself in a mindset that the Mistress has hired me for Her pleasure and I act accordingly. That's how I have engaged in activities in session, in the moment, over the years that I would have shied away from if discussing it with the Mistress before the session. I'm always verbal in session. The practice of emailing an outline helps tremendously. One Mistress, now retired, a dancer, teacher and Vegas showgirl by trade is assertive in real life. But she used to discuss with me outside of session Her "alter ego" in session. I knew exactly what she meant. I guess I have one too. And it is verbal.

I personally need chemistry in sessions. Like if I'm not getting any kind of interaction or a sign, it makes Me want to end the appointment because it's actually a painful situation. Let's be honest, We feed off the energy & the power exchange & when we don't get it, it's like what the fuck. Like the plant in little shop of horrors..... FEED MEEEEEEEEE

With out chemistry there is nothing

As a sub, I often don't give proper feedback because I don't want to be perceived as topping from the bottom. But how would I know you want to see me moan, to hear me suck in my breath, and to see my erection? I'm reading about it for the very first time from your query above. I am not a mind reader. In fairness, despite your superb ability to read people, you are not a mind reader either. That's because no one is a mind reader. And what about the subs you thought had a magical time, but didn't? How would you know? They never come back. All of this is a failure of verbal and nonverbal communication. If you want the truth, then you have to ask. I do not underestimate how difficult this is to do.

I love to watch subs squirm.

That anticipation, that flinch, that look of craving in their eyes... those are beautiful things.

I require a meeting just before the first session to make sure we connect on some level. I have had a couple of sessions where I didn't get feedback and they do tend to take the passion out of it. I don't mean words but some kind of response. It is about an exchange between two people. It feeds the energy so if in doubt about how much to express to the Domme.

Mistress Lynn