Yes, good point, will spell it out. Perhaps I'll throw a post up in Off Topic tonight, unless Cheyenne comes and clarifies that it's ok to do here in the Lobby

It is fine in the lobby. Sorry, I'm a bit of a dinosaur on the current terms. I'm looking forward to reading your post.

Great thanks!

I think you describe it very well. The difference between Findom and findom type activities. I’d have no interest in Findom but there’s an appeal to being coerced into tithing money to a Domme who you regularly see. I will never forget a conversation with a Domme I was seeing telling me how she was going to find a slave to clean her house and also take his money but not all of it. She was a powerful personality and confident there were men out there who would do this. I get hard just typing this remembering her confidence and matter of fact tone.

Funny... Sounds exactly like what I am doing this weekend (or maybe the next week.. just depends when She lets me go).

We probably need to define "sex' too. Is it just penetration and oral or would you include manual stimulation (IE things like a magic wand etc)?

That raises the whole issue of release vs no release in the context of pro BDSM play.....something that has been hotly debated on various forums before. I fall solidly in the "yes, release" camp but to to each their own.

If made to choose between a vanilla sexual relationship and a BDSM one that included plenty of orgasms but no "sex" as such I would be far more torn.

I'm more referring to the nature of the relationship. We all know a vanilla relationship when we are in. I'm a big supporter of to each their own. I'd just get so bored.

There are sex workers who offer both. I've hired such sex workers and found the femdom sessions with a "happy ending" to be amazing.








My wife would call me a creep and divorce me on the spot if she found out I was submissive. I fake vanilla and get all of my lights turned on by paying for sessions with prodommes and other sex workers.

This is an interesting subject. There were a few times when the wife of a client found my number somewhere and called me, certain that their husband was having an affair. I wouldn't say anything to jeopardize my client's confidentiality. My heart heart for both my client and his wife. If the wives of my clients only knew how much their husband loved them it may have changed things. Yes, they were getting their freak on somewhere else and while most of my clients were and, in some cases, still are good friends, their wives came first in absolutely ever regard. While some men were stuck in their marriage, most of them adored their wives far beyond an erotic connection.

It took a long time but eventually I found a husband who loved both and most especially me and our family. That is probably a needle in a haystack. It probably didn't hurt that he got to be on the inside circle playing with the Doms and fetish models for ClubDom. lol.

It's the same with me regarding vanilla sex. It bores me. Maybe it is shallow but I couldn't be in a relationship with someone that didn't share the need for kink. It is too much a part of my life.