Just to re-confirm, you're asking about everyday life encounters -- "lifestyle" femdom rather than for-pay.

It is interesting that you've encountered so many people that separate femdom and sex in lifestyle. For me it's been the opposite: sex and femdom are almost always intermingled in lifestyle. That does not mean that the domme doesn't have a choice as to whether there will be sex, and what type. And chastity often features in lifestyle, which means the sex will more often be him servicing her. But sexual interactions are virtually always part of lifestyle femdom IME, and also in my experience, this complete separation of the two is much more common to pro dommes and pro domme clients

I am very much in this mode. I feel femdom and sex are two intermingled things, like a tapestry. For me, pull out either thread, and the tapestry falls apart. Asking "if you had to choose one, which would it be" just doesn't compute for me; it has to be both, and I've never had to choose between them, except with pro dommes. That's the reason why, even when I'm looking for for-pay rather than lifestyle encounters, I only sometimes choose pro dommes, but more often choose femdom with FBSM providers, strippers, and in the past few years I've been enjoying exploring the sugar scene with femdom sugarbabies (this is an awesome dynamic and has attributes of both lifestyle and for-pay, and the femdom is definitely sexual)

+1

Always nice to find someone else enjoying that scene!! There's a bit of a learning curve but it can be fantastic.

I sort of fell into the scene with a girl who started sugaring had some bad experiences and then wanted to become a pro Domme. I agree lots of opportunity for a connection that makes it feel like a mix between real life and pro sessions. Its been a good fit for both of us. Fun travel, dating, and femdom

Im curious if you dont mind sharing where are you having success finding women who are interested in both the domination and the sugaring. I found myself having to sort through a lot of people who arent very serious or want one but not the other.

Your statement about "very serious" probably means I've taken a different route than you! I've found my absolute best success exactly with women who weren't very serious about femdom -- in a number of cases, brand newbies who were curious! My vetting focuses on whether they're interested and enthusiastic about trying femdom with me, not whether they're experienced (I've had some nice experiences with experienced SBs, but they're not easy to find). But I enjoy working with novices anyway, and I adore the process of exploring the femdom space and seeing which parts they embrace. Many of my SBs have said they'd never been dominant in either their personal life or sugar, were always curious about trying but all the men they've met are dominant.

So for me, what I had to learn:

1. How to be an attractive SD, and what typical SB expectations are. I'm casting a broad net and attracting all SBs, not just those who self-identify as dommes. That means I had to learn how to an SD that SBs are attracted to.

2. How to inject femdom gently into the conversation, so that I didn't scare them away. Many SBs are on high alert that the person they're talking to really just wants sex rather than a true sugar relationship, so you can't be too sex-forward (and the rest of the world looks at femdom as a form of sex).

3. How to hook them once we got past step 2 My route to success was to lead with femdom service -- SBs like being pampered, so describing a dynamic of "I'm here to serve, pamper, and obey you" tickles the right areas and opens up the conversation. Don't lead with "well you'll be fucking me in the ass and smacking my balls" ... even though it will likely eventually get there

I wrote a 2-page "how to seek femdom on SA" guide but not sure it's welcome here or anyone is interested. But it does go along my approach -- seeking novices rather than those already experienced and serious about femdom. That opens up your total addressable market to all SBs on SA!

Not for me. I like bdsm with my sex and sex with my bdsm.

Great stuff! Thank you for sharing.

Not trying ti turn the buzz into a sugar forum but Id be interested in the guide if youd like to share.

Like i say i’ve really enjoyed mixing some of the relationship aspects of SB/SD with the kink of femdom. Its opened up some things i didnt think were possible.

If someone in charge will tell me it's okay to post it here, I'd be happy to post it as a top-level "How to seek femdom on Seeking" post! I have no idea how to summon the powers that be lol

Maybe in the "Off-Topic" forum rather than the lobby since that is open to non ProDomme specific things?

Good idea... I DMed Cheyenne to get her call on whether this sort of post would be okay in either the Lobby or Off Topic