It would take a lot for me to be in vanilla 24/7, even if I could sneak away to get my freak on. Most of my close friends are in the lifestyle scene. It is in my blood. I agree that men who have a bdsm orientation but stay in vanilla marriages must be very much in love with their wives. They say that Freddy Mecury was straight emotionally but sexually attracted to men. Go figure. We are all freaks one way or another.

I am coming late to this discussion, MissMary, but I think we are very much alike. Outside of the partners I am in an intimate relationship with, sex does not play a part in my BDSM play.

As a side note, I will share that once I started offering pro sessions, BDSM has played a lesser role in my intimate relationships. When you do something everyday it tends to lose its novelty and quite frankly I just don't always have the energy for it. Vanilla sex is fine with me more that it used to be.