This is a very complicated subject for me. I’ve never really had a desire for just normal vanilla sex although luckily I can do it. I’m hardwired for submission and am definitely a masochist. I read your post below and I see what you are asking here so if I had to choose one or the other it would be vanilla. I’ve got a great family wife and kids etc and life has been good and so as much as I crave kink in the end it’s just a small part of life and I’d do without it.
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And still trying to figure it all out.................. buffalo