From the professional side of things, I'd have to say that most of my clients were very separate about their romance at home time and femdom play in session. I did have a few personal slaves that had failed marriages because they had no interest in a vanilla relationship at home, as much as they tried. It was sad to see.

When I was a practicing prodom, I kept the two entirely separate. No lines were crossed in either direction. But now that I've been long retired, their are no lines at home. BDSM and straight sex have merged into one. Early into my now three year relationship, my boyfriend said he wanted me to be more dominant in bed. (He was a very vanilla guy at the time.) I just cracked up. It was like an opening scene of a ClubDom movie. There was a temptation to show him some of movies to let him know exactly who he was asking this of. But, I decided not to scare him off. You know what they say about a putting a frog in a cold pan of water on a slow boil.