Junglebeast,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this.

i have a long term relationship with a domina that sounds similar to yours although nowhere near 25 years in length. We see each other about 8 times a year for trips that range from a week to a weekend. Much of our interactions our vanilla, i provide financial support, i help with her sex work career as well as her vanilla career.

I too have experienced some of the ghosting and resentments from my domina that you and Aspx have expressed almost seemingly out of the blue. Like you say the emotional pain can be tough to deal with and several times i thought the relationship would end. Ive also had feelings like yours were i was happy it may end. It hasn't and im happy for that.

I have learned from therapy over time that this type of resentment is a human reaction and not abnormal. It doesnt make it right but it does help me understand and deal with it

A few things have helped me over the years:

1.) i see a licensed sex therapist. She is sex worried and kink friendly. It is a lifesaver.
2.) i am never aggressive. But i am assertive in my needs. I am always respectful. But i think that catches her off guard sometimes as many men show up for a 2 hour once in a lifetime session and not an ongoing relationship. Ours takes constant negotiation. A session often takes 15 minutes.
3.) i do try to remember what she is going through. These relationships are difficult and complicated and there is very little guidance for how either party should navigate. All of us have our own personal, mental and physical health issues. None of us are perfect and i try to keep that in mind.

When these situations have arisen for me i have tended to over communicate and express the importance of having her in my life. I am glad for that approach but i am also aware that these relationships take 2 people and i would only let ghosting go for so long.

I hope this helps.