So, about a month ago I went back North for the first time since the pandemic and saw my longtime MIstress, the first time we sessioned in since the fall of 2019. I tried, and thought I succeeded, in controlling my emotions for this session. But in a passive/aggressive way I know now that the professional relationship I had with this Domina, this woman I’ve known off and on for 25 years is now over. Let me explain.

We have known each other for years, with the exceptions of her leaving the city, her taking a break from the scene, or me doing the same. She was discrete and so was I, but we shared our troubles and woes over the years, with me helping her on various projects - especially in the past few years - using my expertise. I reached out to her for one last session (or group of sessions) around 2015. We met, sessioned in her apartment extensively, until around three years ago when I moved out-of-state. The sessions, some of which took place partially in public spaces, were hotter and more intimate than ever before. She led, I followed 90% of the time. The other 10% I took the initiative. While she slapped me around a couple of times, it was playful and she didn’t complain.

We kept in touch via e-mail, phone and plenty of paid text and phone sessions. She told me on more than one occasion that she would even date “someone like me” but couldn’t / wouldn’t since I was a sub. I understood and, thought to myself, I was relieved. I sent cash in the past couple of years when her new vanilla career wasn’t going well or due to Covid, without an expectation of return. And I’d do it again. Out of respect for a Domina, and usually a good person, who did so much for me.

So we set up our session for last month. I told her I was coming back to town to live in a few months. I picked a nice hotel I stayed at before and rented a car to pick her up at around dawn on a weekend. (We have done dawn sessions plenty of times.) She did not want me to session at her apartment since a neighbor, who since moved, raised suspicions about her visitors a couple of years ago. I parked around the block as she instructed. I waited outside the car to open the door and greet her. First mistake. I heard long speech that I should have stayed in the car and that her neighbors might see me. We got to the hotel room and wordlessly prepared and got into our personas. I began to worship her as she instructed and as we have done in the past. She began to mention activities we wouldn’t be performing that day. (We are both vaccinated.) Finally she said, ,”You know, I think you’d like one of those women who do hugging sessions.” ?!?!? Was my silent response to myself. We got up, she had somewhere to go and so did I. We walked to the car I rented, at a good expense, and she said, “You know, I could have gotten an Uber.” As I drove her back to her neighborhood market, I pulled over and she began giving me details on her vanilla business. I half listened, waiting for her to say goodbye and leave. She finally did.

Usually after an in person session there would be an exchange of texts or a phone call or two. I didn’t do a thing. About three or four days later I got a text in the middle of the night which began (from the Mistress) like a paid text. I responded. After about five minutes she said she had to go back to sleep - as if I texted her - and I said the same. Since there I have received no communication from the Mistress. I have tried four or five times to text her, with no response.

Maybe she thought I was getting too close, emotionally and geographically. I don’t know. I would think if I were getting dumped, for whatever reason, someone who I have served and known for 25 years would be honest and give me a proper “I’m moving on,” etc. Or maybe I’m missing something. Whatever it is, I’m in a good place about this. For me, it’s over. Any thoughts or insights into this would be welcome.