I hear a lot of requests for "no safeword" play from novice subs and self-proclaimed experienced subs. Some experienced subs really are experienced, some are outright lying because they think nobody will see a novice, and others have a lot of experience with one person who could read them after years of experience together.

I look at several things. One being if the person has any references I can easily check, to find out how much the sub can really take. Another thing I look at is what they're into. I have few to no concerns about a sub into sissification and SPH, requesting no safeword. Someone into heavy caning who wants no safeword? I would feel more comfortable with that as a second session. At the very least, a longer session, where the first part has a safeword, and I learn to read their reactions, then their safeword gets taken away the second part.

There was a sub I felt had real potential, who felt I went too gently on a first session, and opted to not return because he was convinced I didn't have it in Me to be rough enough with him. During the session, I literally caused him to lose consciousness and pass out, and I left welts on him. I explained that now that I know he could take it, we could go deeper next time. His loss.

Over the years, I've had a few subs not return after swearing they're "bottomless bottoms," into heavy CP with NO safeword, because I spanked and/or whipped them too hard. And that was after discussion over what they could and could not take, what kinds of bruises or welts that had previously endured, how long those took to heal,and so on. I also ask subs where they are at on a scale of 1-10, to gauge how much they can take. One "leather butt's" 6 is another's 2 1/2. If a sub says a swat was a 3, and it's really a 9 but he wants to sound tough, he's only hurting himself... indirectly, but literally.

It's the job of both the sub and the Domme to communicate to their best ability. If the Domme is convinced she's infallible, there's a problem. If the sub makes things up to sound tough, there's a problem. If the sub expects the level of connection they previously felt with another Domme, forged over months or years, to be instant, there's a problem.

Over time, it's different, and having something evolve into not having safewords, excepting medical emergency, is fine and even preferable.