While most of the men I've met through femdom are fantastic people, I've come across what you are describing a few times over the years. My feeling is that they have a fetish addiction and resent that we hold the keys. The hate they throw toward us is projection of how they feel about their the slavery they are in to the own fetishes. I've always avoided the type that are OCD about their fetishes. I feel bad for them but don't want any part of an unhealthy relationship with kink.