Originally Posted By Miss Adah Vonn
I have had guys who seem hesitant to give references because they see us as competition, when really other providers are our best support! If a sub feels like they are 'cheating' on a Domina, that's on them to know their relationship before coming to me or not.


Yes. Some confuse a personal relationship and a professional one. Both subs and Dommes. Some allow themselves to become emotionally entangled. That is why they think going to another Domme, and asking for a reference in order to do that, is or might be perceived as "cheating".

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I have certainly gotten some much appreciated clarity from other Dommes and am always happy to pass it on when I can.


Same. When they are kind enough to really want to help and be concerned about my safety I sincerely appreciate it.

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I have also yet to come across anyone hostile in response to a reference request.


Unfortunately, I have had some Dommes be unfriendly -- if not downright shitty -- about a reference. A couple who otherwise have stellar reputations in the community. Obviously some people feel very threatened. I understand that but being rude to a colleague isn't going to help...