Thanks Spark,

i do feel like i need the "submissive play release" to enjoy life and not feel pent up desires. i think i'd go a bit crazy without that "playtime!" It is a great feeling as i'm sure we all know here on this board.

Re: the sub wimp concept, i work very hard and am an excellent provider. Do many typical male things & would consider myself in standard male roles. Not a "Macho" man for sure as i don't even like that type of person. Of course i treat Women with great respect as we all should, but it's if i'm a subbie in the bedroom, how can she still respect me? If i have Her "dirty" scented panties over my face during sex, does She think i'm crazy? a perv? or a wimp? Bottom line is, does She see me as less of a man, and not as desirable in several ways? i've pretty much dropped the BDSM stuff in our bedroom because of these concerns.

And after slowly trying to introduce sub kink things in the bedroom, i am sure that She's not really in to them. More just going along with it to please me. i know pushing the envelope would ruin things, so i need to session every now and then.

Still leaves me with the guilt though. ugh!

Would love to hear any thoughts from Dommes (and others) here about this mix up of feelings.