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#13067 - 01/27/21 09:16 AM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: Cheyenne]
Spark Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 08/15/19
Posts: 247
Quote:
You have a great attitude about relationships. It sounds like you are happy. Have you dated in fetish circles? Most of my fetish friends openly play with other people. The best fetish play parties are the ones that don't get advertised.[/i]


Thanks Cheyenne. I guess i’ve always had a live and let live approach to relationships. Good and bad to that approach. Ive done some kink in personal relationships but Never seriously dated in fetish circles and parties don't quite align with my personality but i bet they are a blast!

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#13070 - 01/27/21 03:00 PM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: Cheyenne]
buffalo Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 06/21/19
Posts: 334
Loc: USA
I’ll take that as a compliment 😉
_________________________
And still trying to figure it all out.................. buffalo

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#13071 - 01/27/21 04:06 PM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: Cheyenne]
bcd Offline
Occasional

Registered: 10/30/20
Posts: 31
I tried to involve my wife in session and to her credit, she gave it a try. I first tried to expose her to my interests in a home setting. But not really *getting* it, she did agree to visit a Domme with me. It was okay, but it just didn't turn out to be her thing. She more or less gave me permission to session; "I don't mind if you go do this once in awhile" were her paraphrased words. Still, I don't advertise that I do to her when I do go. But I do session albeit a lot less than when I was much younger.

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#13072 - 01/27/21 04:08 PM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: buffalo]
bcd Offline
Occasional

Registered: 10/30/20
Posts: 31
That's a good word, compartmentalize. I too am able to do that rather well. I look at it as an occasional hobby. Hey, I don't go fishing or golfing!

And I don't feel at all bad as it's only a few hours a couple of times a year.

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#13081 - 01/28/21 04:46 AM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: bcd]
Cheyenne Online   content

Pooh-Bah

Registered: 07/12/19
Posts: 2294
It is awesome that your wife was both willing to try and understanding of your having that occasional itch. You are probably in the small but fortunate minority.

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#13086 - 01/28/21 05:50 AM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: Cheyenne]
slvmaximus Offline
Member

Registered: 08/20/19
Posts: 22
Think ghost busters and the streams should never cross. Sometimes, kink and vanilla worlds should not cross.

Some guys might be bdsm kinky and have been thinking about sessions and play since they were 15, so that could be at least 15 years if not more. So then, the kinky guy approaches the GF and wants her to join in. And everything they talk about it total sticker shock. She might have dominant tendencies but she's not kinky in the bedroom. So her kink IQ is that of a complete newbie and the guy's kink IQ is genius level.

It's not the guys fault or her fault that she's not kinky.

And then if she's dragged into a session, she's watching her BF, or husband, or father of her children in situations that she's completely not prepared for. A straight girl scout woman is not going to be prepared to watch her husband and father of her children be tied to a spanking bench and caned. It's just not realistic.

I'm not trying to be a wet blanket but there's enough indicators and triggers floating out there in society, and if she was so inclined, she would have been likely doing it by now.

My recommendation is to not cross the streams.
_________________________
New England Kinkster serving fabulous prodommes since 1991.

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#13087 - 01/28/21 06:44 AM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: slvmaximus]
Cheyenne Online   content

Pooh-Bah

Registered: 07/12/19
Posts: 2294
Don't cross the streems. Love it. Puts me in the mood to watch the original Ghost Busters.

I completely agree in the case of a man dragging a vanilla woman to a session with him. Over the years, I've seen a few men try to turn their girlfriend or wife into a dom. Not only was it bad for their relationship but, in my opinion, selfish of the man. You are spot on with if an adult woman was kinky, she would have realized that, at least, by the time she was in college.

In my friend's case, his live in girlfriend is kinky. They play at home once in a while, but not often enough or deep enough to scratch his itch. She's insanely jealous...to the point that even if he was to sneak away for a session, somehow her radar would come on and, she'd know it. Perhaps a good suggestion would be for him to rent a high end play space for just the two of them. He'd get his playtime and the toys may inspire her to explore. She loves clothes. So, he could buy her a killer outfit and boots.

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#13095 - 01/28/21 10:25 AM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: Cheyenne]
bcd Offline
Occasional

Registered: 10/30/20
Posts: 31
Agreed! She is no drama ever. I can truly use the trite expression, we're each other's best friends. Not easy as anyone whose been in a relationship can attest. But we've figured it out I think. 39 years and counting!

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#13123 - 01/29/21 03:58 PM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: slvmaximus]
TheDriver Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/18/19
Posts: 23
Max
You said it buddy. A million years ago I was married to the Straight Girl Scout....Woops!
She didn't do no tango.......at least not once we were married. Coulda sworn she had the eye of the tiger when we were dating.
So I made the little mistake of trying to cross streams with her....... and wound up with what the professionals might call a "wild line".
Somehow I think it would appropriate to close by asking.
"Who you gonna call"
You made my day with the crossed streams.
Thanks
The Driver

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#13139 - 01/30/21 07:00 AM Re: Wife/Girlfriend Dillema [Re: Cheyenne]
Awillingstudent Offline
Artisan

Registered: 07/08/19
Posts: 57
Perhaps a better idea than having SO join a session would be to have her and the Mistress meet in a vanilla setting (paid for by client). If a connection is made they could take the next step and have her join.
_________________________
What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.

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