I feel for your friend

On the occasion when i have been in a relationship i have tried to stop sessioning.

From what I've seen from my side of the fence, that it isn't emotionally healthy and even puts a strain on vanilla relationships. But, I understand why men take that route and it is admirable. I just got off the phone with my friend. His girlfriend is going to be out of the country for a week starting Sunday. Poor guy. All of that opportunity and trying so hard to resist. I also invited him to start posting here.

I have not always been perfect. Surprisingly i dont feel guilty about sessioning. I needed it too much. although in my younger days i did feel guilty about not feeling guilty if that makes sense

It makes sense to feel guilty about not feeling guilty. When I was an active session dom, most of my clients didn't feel guilty. They knew it was their partners they were going home to and probably as a happier man. I also think it is better to sneak away and your freak on now and then instead of trying to turn a vanilla partner, who has no interest, into your mistress. It is better for the vanilla partner, they just don't know it. Maybe that is justification but it is the way I saw it as a dom.

Most of my adult life i have been single by choice so i haven't had to worry about it.

In my more recent relationships i have tried to break the mold of a traditional relationship and have been comfortable bringing up the idea of consensually having additional partners (for both of us) to meet emotional and physical needs. As ive gotten older i really think this can lead to a healthy relationship dynamic. However, that line of thinking has generally not been well received which is really unfortunate. I guess that has not been normalized yet.

This is an area everyone is different about. It would bother me if my partner was okay playing with other men. The exception would be if it was in our circle of fetish friends, at a party, and no sex was involved. But, I can share my man a little with doms, as long as it is a joint decision and I am friends with who he's playing with. I was getting to be good friends with a female client some years back. We were talking about hanging out together out of the dungeon. My boyfriend flipped out. But, my late husband would have loved it if I had a kinky girlfriend. Funny how we are all wired differently on this one. I can't say any of it makes sense except that humans are sometimes ruled by simple emotion.

Many of us form friendships and social connections that are different from our partners and those often make for a better relationship and a deeper connection Im surprised that more people arent willing to explore the same thing when it comes to sex or domination.

One the most happily married couples I've known were Paul C. Leather, of Chicago, and his wife Kitty. We lost touch over the years but were close when I lived in Ohio. They were very open about being in an open marriage. They were both cool with it and completely devoted to each other. But I know of very few others who had an open[i] sexual/vanilla relationship that worked for both partners. But, then I've never gotten involved in the swinger world.

You have a great attitude about relationships. It sounds like you are happy. Have you dated in fetish circles? Most of my fetish friends openly play with other people. The best fetish play parties are the ones that don't get advertised.[/i]