This is something I’ve wanted to happen for years and years but it never has. For me it means being broken to tears and having this huge emotional release similar to your sub at the play party but hand in hand with that it’s also a surrender to the Domme who brings this out of me. I am not an emotional person by nature and I just cannot seem to get to this point in session. I want to get there but it’s not something I can force. In my fantasies i think of different scenarios where it happens but you can’t script it and in reality it never seems to play out the way I hope and fantasise it will.

I’ve been seeing someone regularly and we have talked about this. She wants this to happen and she’s confident it will. But she says I’m a tough nut to crack. I don’t fight it but I can’t force it. It doesn’t have to come through corporal necessarily but I think pain is going to have to be part of it. I trust her so I’ve let her go further with marks then ever before but my situation does not allow for me to be beaten bloody so there’s only so much I can do as far as corporal goes. I do think breaking will happen but I’m not sure what it will take. Meanwhile the sessions are great so I will keep trying.