Your first session was in 1999? Wow...mine too! (August 1999...specifically).

My own experience as a submissive has seen its fair share of ebbs and flows, and I'd like to think that I've gotten better and have figured out my "place" in the Scene.

When I first got involved in FemDom, I dived off the deep end. After only three sessions with a particular Mistress, she broached the topic of collaring and personal service along with the other "lifestyle" trappings (e.g. play parties, etc). I burned out very quickly and ended up not actively participating for at least a year.

Since that time, I've gone from periods of active participation to rather dormant years. A few years ago, I ended up seeing one Mistress exclusively and that likewise evolved toward a personal, "collared" situation. Again, I burned out and had to "take a knee," so to speak.

So, looking at all that has transpired for me, I've reached some conclusions that serve as "guideposts" for my life as a submissive.

1) The whole "lifestyle" D/s relationship paradigm (e.g. slave contract, collar, chastity device, FetLife profile, etc) is not meant for everyone. Some men, based on their personality, experience in D/s and life situation simply aren't suited for this...and I'm one of those not suited.

And it shouldn't matter. It doesn't make me any less authentically submissive or respectful of Mistresses if I choose *not* to go down this road. Professional sessions give me the opportunity to express service to a Domme, and I prefer to keep it at that level.

2) It's okay to take breaks. I'm trying to constantly remind myself that I *don't* have to session each and every time I visit this-or-that city that just happens to host a particular Mistress I've seen in the past. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and taking time away can help avoid burnout while making fewer sessions that more special.

3) It's okay to set boundaries and reconsider your hard limit list. It's okay to try things that I previously considered "no go" activities. And, it's also okay to cease certain activities that I may very well have indulged earlier in my "sub journey."

Your limits are *your* limits, and you don't owe anyone a damn explanation why this-or-that activity is on your limit list.

4) Along with boundaries...focus on your vanilla life first. Examine your satisifaction with your career, vanilla hobbies, lifestyle. Focus on enhancing and improving these areas first. Then, once that's in place, slowly integrate BDSM into your life. Don't fall into the trap of thinking D/s should drive your life.

5) Don't fall into the "taxonomy" game. There are a lot of people in the Scene, unfortunately, who want to put every participant in a box and evaluate them as such. Are you a slave or a submissive? Are you a masochist or a sissy? Are you a bottom or a fetishist? Are you a CPA or a NICU nurse?

FFS...you're...well...*YOU.* Don't worry about where you fall on the continuum. As long as you're conducting yourself in an atmosphere of respect and consent...you're okay.

Anyway...that's my 0.02 cents. I am interested in seeing more responses to your post.