On the personal relationship side, I was in an flr for a few years. I once made a pitch to my princess that we should switch and I should dominate her once. Without even looking up from what she was doing, she just deadpanned "yeah, that's not happening" and told me to go fetch something for her. It was a pretty huge turn-on. Like you, this was one of those situations where I would have been turned on if she agreed to switching; but was also turned-on by the way she turned it down.

As far how common switching is in personal relationships, I wonder if people on this board -- which is focused are professional domination, and moreover, the kind of people who are so into professional domination that they join a forum about it -- are representative of the public at large. I suspect the silent majority of people who engage in femdom just play at it, and given that the vast majority of women seem to be submissive or switches, I'd guess there's plenty of switching going on