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#12742 - 01/02/21 06:54 AM Pro Session Verses Personal Partner
ScoobyBelfast Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 12/12/20
Posts: 288
I'm new to this having been a vanilla man until a new girlfriend introduced turned me onto bdsm. It came so naturally between us. There was no decision and it doesn't consume our entire sex life. I'm curious if there is a rush people get from having an actual session verses messing around with their life partner. Would the things you do with a professional be as hot if you did them with your wife?

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#12743 - 01/02/21 08:36 AM Re: Pro Session Verses Personal Partner [Re: ScoobyBelfast]
Cheyenne Online   content

Pooh-Bah

Registered: 07/12/19
Posts: 2304
Interesting topic. My late husband was a pretty edgy player. Every now and then, I could sense that he was due for a full blown professional session. No doubt, this is different for everyone...but he needed the excitement and formality of a formal session now and then. So, I'd arrange a session for him with one of my prodom friends. He'd be giddy with anticipation for days and then come home glowing and content....until the next blue moon arose.

Are you finding yourself curious about experiencing a professional session?

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#12744 - 01/02/21 11:43 AM Re: Pro Session Verses Personal Partner [Re: ScoobyBelfast]
Swordfish Offline
Regular

Registered: 10/31/15
Posts: 127
Loc: California
Originally Posted By ScoobyBelfast
Would the things you do with a professional be as hot if you did them with your wife?


No. They'd be 10x hotter. Femdom with someone you have a deep relationship with is a completely different thing than with someone you have what is ultimately a business relationship with (although relationships with prodommes can take a distinctly personal turn also, given how personal and intimate the activities are).

The point with a pro domme is: it's unlikely you'll be doing the things with your wife that you do with a pro domme. A pro domme may have devoted years to doing this. She will have all kinds of skills in that time, that can take a lot of time and training. These can be hard skills, like techniques with particular toys. But a lot are even harder-to-develop soft skills -- how to roll one activity into another so they build on each other, how to read your reactions so she knows just which direction to take things, etc. So this question is a bit like saying, "would my wife take better care of my car, than my mechanic does?" Well yes, sure, if your wife were a mechanic herself; if she's not, then the mechanic is the only one you can take care of your car

On the downside, you won't be having sex with your pro domme, or engaging in explicit sexual activities (jobs and ingus type activities). If it turns out you are a person for whom femdom and sex are difficult to separate, going with a pro domme will be interesting and fun as an experience but not have the same level of satisfaction. For many people who love pro domination teh separation of these two things is part of the fun


Edited by Swordfish (01/02/21 11:53 AM)

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#12751 - 01/02/21 08:26 PM Re: Pro Session Verses Personal Partner [Re: Swordfish]
The Thomas Online   content
Addict

Registered: 10/20/15
Posts: 448
Originally Posted By Swordfish
Originally Posted By ScoobyBelfast
Would the things you do with a professional be as hot if you did them with your wife?


No. They'd be 10x hotter. Femdom with someone you have a deep relationship with is a completely different thing than with someone you have what is ultimately a business relationship with (although relationships with prodommes can take a distinctly personal turn also, given how personal and intimate the activities are).

The point with a pro domme is: it's unlikely you'll be doing the things with your wife that you do with a pro domme. A pro domme may have devoted years to doing this. She will have all kinds of skills in that time, that can take a lot of time and training. These can be hard skills, like techniques with particular toys. But a lot are even harder-to-develop soft skills -- how to roll one activity into another so they build on each other, how to read your reactions so she knows just which direction to take things, etc. So this question is a bit like saying, "would my wife take better care of my car, than my mechanic does?" Well yes, sure, if your wife were a mechanic herself; if she's not, then the mechanic is the only one you can take care of your car

On the downside, you won't be having sex with your pro domme, or engaging in explicit sexual activities (jobs and ingus type activities). If it turns out you are a person for whom femdom and sex are difficult to separate, going with a pro domme will be interesting and fun as an experience but not have the same level of satisfaction. For many people who love pro domination teh separation of these two things is part of the fun


In general I don't have a problem with this analysis. However there are a few specialties where I feel lifestyle has an advantage over prodom. One example is cuckolding which can be very hot with a partner but is rather corny with a pro. Chastity also works best in a lifestyle situation.

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#12754 - 01/03/21 12:01 AM Re: Pro Session Verses Personal Partner [Re: ScoobyBelfast]
Smiley Online   content
Occasional

Registered: 10/19/15
Posts: 33
I tend to do both a professional session and a play partner. My current play partner is in the medical field so we tend to do alot of medical things that I've been unable to find a local pro qualified or atleast with the proper gear to do certain things. For example years ago I had the intention of seeing a pro-domme to do a mangina during a session. This happen to be around Christmas when she was in town seeing family and had some free time. We had chatted and I basically asked her about what she thought about me seeing someone to do it who was not in the medical field. While she supported my idea of doing it, she cautioned me that infection could occur if the area was not properly prepped and the instruments were sterile. She mentioned that since she was in town till after New Years to just let her do it since after all, she was in the medical field and that it wouldn't cost me anything financially. When she did it she maintained a sterile field at all times and even went as far as using surgical prep on my skin.
We also engage in anal play and while sometimes we don't go as hard as some of the professionals I've seen, we've often gotten pretty close to it. Prior to having fun with my current play partner it was mostly all professionals except for those rare occasions where she was in town (previously lived across the contintent). She still encourages me to see the professionals since after all, she understands those bonds are often hard to break. There's been a few times where she's literally told me to go schedule a session with certain dommes I've been seeing recently not to only relief some stress on my life but to also help those whose primary source of income is pro sessions.

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#12755 - 01/03/21 01:31 AM Re: Pro Session Verses Personal Partner [Re: The Thomas]
Swordfish Offline
Regular

Registered: 10/31/15
Posts: 127
Loc: California
Agree. I realize my first line might not be clear. I was saying that if you did the same thing with a pro domme and a real-life partner (wife ,in OP's case), it'd be 10x hotter with your wife, due to the deep and organic connection. But in most cases, it's not "the same thing", since many things pro dommes do take skill. But for the things my (amateur) play partner CAN do? Much more meaningful

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#12757 - 01/03/21 07:01 AM Re: Pro Session Verses Personal Partner [Re: Cheyenne]
ScoobyBelfast Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 12/12/20
Posts: 288
I'm curious about what goes on in a professional session but wouldn't do anything that didn't include my girlfriend. We are getting along so well I wouldn't want to suggest something that would piss her off or make her feel like she isn't enough. Maybe talking to her about this and looking for a professional that sees couples would be a fun thing. You helped me answer my own questions. Thanks.

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#12758 - 01/03/21 07:05 AM Re: Pro Session Verses Personal Partner [Re: Swordfish]
ScoobyBelfast Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 12/12/20
Posts: 288
Thanks for the advise. I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone but my girlfriend. The responses here have been helpful. I'm thinking that finding a professional who has a cool dungeon and will let my girlfriend work along with her might be the answer.

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#12759 - 01/03/21 07:08 AM Re: Pro Session Verses Personal Partner [Re: Smiley]
ScoobyBelfast Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 12/12/20
Posts: 288
You've got a fun filled life. This is all so new to me. This may be a stupid question but what is medical play?

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#12760 - 01/03/21 08:10 AM Re: Pro Session Verses Personal Partner [Re: ScoobyBelfast]
Jiminhales Offline
Regular

Registered: 06/23/19
Posts: 126
Loc: Maryland
No. I give Cheyenne credit for being able to make it work. I started out in this scene with a smoking fetish and curious about Strapon play. My perversions have grown and I feel I can do that with someone who doesn’t know me so personally.

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