I appreciate that you understand why many of us ask for references, Chi.

Us Dommes are all over the internet, with traceable histories, which act to help vet us to our prospective subs, but those who come to us? Someone could be a serial rapist or murderer. Ask yourselves: what would you do in our situation?

If I encounter a sub who uses just as much caution about the Dommes they see as a Domme may about them, I'm comforted. THIS, I think to myself, is a smart sub. They care about their well-being. This is the kind of thoughtful person I like to play with.



Yes, this is the downside to what can be a necessary break for some. Sometimes old references are accepted if you had an ongoing relationship with the Domme. Other times, if you are able in some other way to provide some kind of security to show that you're not someone who is going to try to hurt Her, that will suffice. Unfortunately, with the stories that many of us hear from other providers from time to time it makes us realize how risky this job can be.