Junglepet, It seems you have answered at least some of your own questions. As I have noted in at least one other thread I am primarily a masochist and only secondarily a submissive. And I do sometimes play from the top though not as often. However whether bottom or top I view it as a game I enjoy playing when in the mood but when the scene is over things go back to normal. I have zero interest in entering a long term relationship that at its core is based on a constant D/s dynamic.

I wish you luck.