Here is a subject I will get in trouble for. As Mistress Ayn said, "A leopard can't change his spots and a jungle boy probably can't either," in a recent post. Well... I unretired and sessioned again. A longtime Mistress contacted me who retired a few years ago came back from out of town and contacted me recently. (I'll do a review in a few weeks when she is ready to go public.)

Not that it came up with her, but it got me thinking. I've never been a live-in sub (close once), served Mistresses who were bi, straight and lesbian, in relationships, looking for a relationship, or just strictly business. So, I have to ask, how does one become a "Bull" for a Mistress? Over the years I have had vanilla with a couple of Dominas, and a couple of Mistresses wanted me to "expand my horizons" to qualify for vanilla. (I respectfully declined.)

Does anyone choose to explain how a sub can become a bull, if that is even possible?

I am afraid I am going to have to answer you question with another question. In a BDSM context "bull" can mean

1] The domina's equal BF

2] The BF of the domina who in turns dominates her

3] The sex partner of the domina in a cuckold scene (often but not always 1 or 2 above)

4] The guy sexually using the sub in a forced bi session

So which one exactly are you referring to? If you answer #1 I am forced to follow up with a question that may sound a bit snarky, "So you have never had a relationship without an element of submission?"

Now your answer is #2 the followup is whether or not you have ever fantasized about switching.

And the follow-up for #4 is whether you have any bisexuality.

Thomas they are all legitimate questions. In looking back at my "sordid" (lol!) past and based on your questions I was #1 And #2 already with a woman long ago who I met as a domina and I became her lover. When she was in the scene she did domination, kink, massage and wrestling. After the first few months of being a client we became lovers. For most of the time, when I look back, she controlled me - sexually and more dangerously - emotionally. I was literally addicted. Physically for you film historians out there she looked like a cross between Jayne Mansfield and Anita Ekberg and around 6' 1" in heels. I'm about 6' 1".

Towards the end of our relationship I began to be more demanding sexually. I realized for my own sanity, and probably hers, there was no future. I tried numerous times to break up with her, so I guess I dominated her. We eventually became long distance friends. We lived far away from each other. She got married several years ago and that, for the sake of this story, was it.

On a more conventional session level I was a #2, a switch, a few years after that relationship. It was before I knew what a "switch" was. The young athletic domina from Jamaica I was seeing (she was in her late 20s and I was mid 40s) agreed to be loosely tied up in my jungle scene. I would do a "rescue" by untying her and by the end of the scene she would dominate "Tarzan." We did a variety of versions of this with her being dominant at the end.

Thanks for the opportunity to reflect.

Junglepet, It seems you have answered at least some of your own questions. As I have noted in at least one other thread I am primarily a masochist and only secondarily a submissive. And I do sometimes play from the top though not as often. However whether bottom or top I view it as a game I enjoy playing when in the mood but when the scene is over things go back to normal. I have zero interest in entering a long term relationship that at its core is based on a constant D/s dynamic.

I wish you luck.

I could be wrong, but sometimes a domme will more or less advertise when there is a need. Bull could be either bull for cuckold or bull for fb sessions . . . Advertising could be on media or discreet suggestions in parties or other social venues. At least, in terms of finding a guy for fb sessions, it is certain that dommes advertise at times . . .