Originally Posted By Spark
I always thought references were for safety reasons not to determine compatibility or submissiveness.


In my experience from both providing them and having private conversations with Pro Dommes about them, you are absolutely correct on this point. Rarely do Dommes want to know what happened in a session... its about whether the perspective client shows any signs of being dangerous; whether the sub is a giant pain in the ass to deal with; and do they show up (deposits or not, almost all Dommes hate when someone books then does a no-show).

Originally Posted By Spark
I normally let the Domme i used as a reference know with a quick email reminding them of our session date and details. I know some people ask permission in advance and that seems like a good way to go as well.


In general, I fall into the latter group because I don't wish to assume a Domme is willing to do that for me. However, I do have some Dommes who have told me that I don't have to do that and when I choose to use those, I do as you do and just give them a heads-up.

Originally Posted By Spark
Ive never had an issue with a domme being willing to provide a reference. My only problem now would be i haven't sessioned in a year.


I think with the pandemic and everything being shut down, Dommes will be much more willing to give references for someone they haven't seen in a much longer period of time than before... however, my experiences with references is mostly that it allows a Domme to shortcut some of her vetting rather than it being a hardcore requirement to booking a session.
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Asp