There are fifty shades of gray when you deal with people identities or their privacy. I think that for you this is important because you see this interest as defining to your identity. If this is the case a forum like this is a good place for discussions because you can be completely honest and there are no consequences.

I am tempted to raise many issues which might seem as controversial here as your confessions could be to your vanilla friends, and eventually I think I will.

Be careful with what you do because once you do it the cat is out of the bag and it is irreversible. It might be the right thing to do for you but only the very closest of your friends could understand your situation well enough to give you good advise.