Hi

I am still very confused. BDSM for me is like a parallel universe that I never knew existed and now that I know it exists and what I want to get from it I still don't know what it really is. Is it all or nothing like the blue pill/red pill story of Matrix or is it something that I can enjoy with a dominatrix whenever I want and to engage only in activities that I (and her) want to do in the session?

Thanks.