I'm curious to know when exactly the Old Guard standards became relaxed and proDommes started having more intimate sessions... It is probably not a clearly cut timeline. It seems like the 70's things were more carefree and then in the 90's it became more common to model after the Old Guard. That is only based on what a few slaves have told me over the years.

In 2006 when I started at Rebecca's, there was definitely a push/pull of those willing to be more sexual and those who had stricter boundaries. The stricter people always looked down on the others. Which is of course, woman on woman sexism. I could see though, that the stricter people were there to do a certain thing and felt demoralized to work in a place where strict Domme/sub standards weren't adhered to. Sex positive third wave feminists who have gotten into the scene have done a lot to bridge the gap between the sex worker Dommes and those who do not identify as such.

As long as everyone is enjoying themselves, who cares right?


V

Mme Veronica, here’s my take since I sessioned with independent Dominas and Mistresses at dungeons, off and on, from the ‘70s into the 2000s.

The ‘70s were more sensual, at least for a college kid like me. Much more worship with Dominas who, let’s face it, were all older than me. A young guy could actually be a house slave, at a dungeon or a Mistresses’ apartment, and do chores for a short session. It was all a carryover of the “Swinging 60s” free love” mentality. By the time I came back in the mid-80s just about everyone was more strict with sensuality due to the HIV/AIDS crisis and more fears of a police crackdown in NY at least.

By the mid ‘90s, when I came back into the scene after leaving for a while, there was a split between old school Mistresses who would hold you off at arm’s length (literally and figuratively) and those who were more open to sensuality. When the Internet became the place in the late ‘90s, dungeon & domina sites, Max Fisch was created, all Mistresses were adamant in online and in print they provided legal services. (Behind closed doors, in some cases if a Domina knew you, things became more open.)

In the 2000s I began to session a bit more with female bodybuilders who were dominant. Some offered a “full menu” of dominant and sensual options. Some of the traditional Dominas could be very strict, and sensual, all at the same time. My last truly active period probably ended around 2010 and I’ve seen Mistresses (or bodybuilders) since then who know me.

Mme Veronica, as I posted before, for a strict Domina no matter the era I was a lousy sub. Hell, I’ll brag - polite, respectful and a gentleman - but someone who was giving plenty of “sensual privileges” along the way. That’s what I remember.

Be safe... everyone.

Crossing a boundary into sexual activity is a funny thing for me. My personal feeling towards Dommes that don't cross into the sexual realm because they are following rules laid down to them by someone else diminishes their dominance. This is a Stark contrast to those who don't do it because they don't feel like it or feel it is beneath them. Anyhow, I consider myself more of a kinkster so absolutely dominance isn't a deal breaker for me all the time with every session.

This! "As long as everyone is enjoying themselves, who cares right?" Exactly! What two (or more) people do together is between them and is no one else's business. THE END!

Absolutely!

Thanks for the breakdown!

I don't think being given privileges necessarily makes you a bad sub. It just means you weren't trained. But then, not everyone *can* be trained. Not everyone wants to be trained. I would put most fetishists in this category. One's fetish can make you have feelings of submission, but that is not the same as being a submissive.

Another weird story: Again, while working at Rebecca's (one of the best times of my life I have to say) there was a guy who would come in and want to see "busty" women. He did not want to touch them and he did not want anyone to take their shirt off- he just wanted you to talk about how big they were. How big they were, and how big they were going to get- like swallow your whole head kind of big. How they would float you away like huge balloons sort of big. One day I realized that it was not about breasts, but about the thought of them getting "bigger and bigger" (a phrase he loved).

He had a pneumatic fetish. It had nothing to do with the actual look or feel of the breasts themselves. Which I found charming and still do.


Best,


V

I know, right?

I think it is probably VERY common.

Well-- to each his own. Although many women do have dominant tendencies from birth, some do not but go on to enjoy being dominant and become quite good at it. "Born This Way" or not, you still have to apprentice to someone who teaches you how to be technically proficient. So... is that submissive? I don't think so. Does it follow that if you are taught BDSM - in practice, professionally- does not involve overt sexuality and you follow that rule, that you are submissive to that idea? I don't think that is necessarily so.


V