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#11731 - 09/10/20 12:37 AM Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it
John_Bolton Online   content
Regular

Registered: 06/22/20
Posts: 171
I could be way off, but the sentiment I get is that dommes consider themselves Sex Workers. I get this sense from some twitter accounts where they use that term for themselves.

I don't think they should try to make the correlation. Sex Workers are escorts. There is no sex in BDSM. Maybe only in rare or certain session types, but I think dommes should consider themselves more like performance artists.

You really don't want to lump yourselves in with the d sucking girls and Motel 6 renters.

Do you really want to be considered a SWer once cash goes away?

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#11750 - 09/10/20 07:53 PM Re: Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it [Re: John_Bolton]
The Thomas Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 10/20/15
Posts: 271
Domina M posted her thoughts on this topic here:

http://domina.ms/~domroot/thebuzz/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=4227#Post4227

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#11751 - 09/11/20 08:22 AM Re: Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it [Re: John_Bolton]
Slv4u Online   content
Member

Registered: 06/20/19
Posts: 23
Loc: Germany
Originally Posted By John_Bolton
[...] Sex Workers are escorts. There is no sex in BDSM. [...]

Of course there is.

Sex isn't only intercourse. There's a huge bandwidth of sexual arousing activties involved in a BDSM session. And, as she is earning money by doing sex related stuff -> it's sex work.
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#11753 - 09/11/20 04:02 PM Re: Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it [Re: Slv4u]
John_Bolton Online   content
Regular

Registered: 06/22/20
Posts: 171
Originally Posted By Slv4u
Originally Posted By John_Bolton
[...] Sex Workers are escorts. There is no sex in BDSM. [...]

Of course there is.

Sex isn't only intercourse. There's a huge bandwidth of sexual arousing activties involved in a BDSM session. And, as she is earning money by doing sex related stuff -> it's sex work.


Well yeah, I just didn't want to ruin the fantasy for some other guys on here who feel very submissive and devoted to some dommes. On the other hand, that same domme they see and beg for her approval while in chastity and don't cum during session.... well, let's just say she may have her tits out and gets me to cum with a Hitachi while using a strapon.


Edited by John_Bolton (09/11/20 04:02 PM)

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#11754 - 09/11/20 04:16 PM Re: Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it [Re: John_Bolton]
Swordfish Online   content
Artisan

Registered: 10/31/15
Posts: 83
Loc: California
Quote:
Sex Workers are escorts


I genuinely admire your chutzpah; most people would bother to understand what "sex workers" are, before arguing that dommes are not sex workers. Sometimes you just have to unfetter yourself from convention grin grin

I'd say the salient points for me are, in order:

  • By any reasonable definition of sex work I've seen, pro dommes are definitely sex workers. They are not escorts or prostitutes (or strippers or FBSM providers or sugarbabies, for that matter)
  • To the public, pro dommes are definitely sex workers, and probably prostitutes. The latter is an (incorrect) perception, but public perception is important
  • Legislation aimed at sex workers absolutely impacts pro dommes, very negatively at times
  • Given that pro dommes ARE sex workers, and that they're also perceived by the public as being sex workers, and that they are impacted by sexworker legislation, "hang together or we shall all hang separately" most certainly applies


Edited by Swordfish (09/11/20 04:17 PM)

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#11755 - 09/11/20 05:00 PM Re: Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it [Re: Swordfish]
John_Bolton Online   content
Regular

Registered: 06/22/20
Posts: 171
Originally Posted By Swordfish
Quote:
Sex Workers are escorts


I genuinely admire your chutzpah; most people would bother to understand what "sex workers" are, before arguing that dommes are not sex workers. Sometimes you just have to unfetter yourself from convention grin grin

I'd say the salient points for me are, in order:

  • By any reasonable definition of sex work I've seen, pro dommes are definitely sex workers. They are not escorts or prostitutes (or strippers or FBSM providers or sugarbabies, for that matter)
  • To the public, pro dommes are definitely sex workers, and probably prostitutes. The latter is an (incorrect) perception, but public perception is important
  • Legislation aimed at sex workers absolutely impacts pro dommes, very negatively at times
  • Given that pro dommes ARE sex workers, and that they're also perceived by the public as being sex workers, and that they are impacted by sexworker legislation, "hang together or we shall all hang separately" most certainly applies


This is actually a pretty thorough argument.

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#11756 - 09/11/20 06:45 PM Re: Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it [Re: Swordfish]
Mistress Ayn Online   content

Sage

Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1069
Loc: Atlanta, GA
I would say that your points are very solid, swordfish. I have personally always had an issue with the term "sex worker" to describe all the workers in the adult industry. Erotic worker or adult industry worker are much more fitting terms that could include dancers, Dommes, escorts, erotic massage, etc. When the term sex is used it confuses the public and certainly doesn't help educate.

We are (adult workers) all in this together as you aptly mention and I do champion causes that support us a group and fight those that are harmful, but I don't refer to myself as a sex worker - not because of any whoreocracy but because I believe the term confuses.
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#11759 - 09/11/20 08:34 PM Re: Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it [Re: Swordfish]
MayaMidnight Online   content
Occasional

Registered: 06/23/19
Posts: 41
Originally Posted By Swordfish
Quote:
Sex Workers are escorts


I genuinely admire your chutzpah; most people would bother to understand what "sex workers" are, before arguing that dommes are not sex workers. Sometimes you just have to unfetter yourself from convention grin grin

I'd say the salient points for me are, in order:

  • By any reasonable definition of sex work I've seen, pro dommes are definitely sex workers. They are not escorts or prostitutes (or strippers or FBSM providers or sugarbabies, for that matter)
  • To the public, pro dommes are definitely sex workers, and probably prostitutes. The latter is an (incorrect) perception, but public perception is important
  • Legislation aimed at sex workers absolutely impacts pro dommes, very negatively at times
  • Given that pro dommes ARE sex workers, and that they're also perceived by the public as being sex workers, and that they are impacted by sexworker legislation, "hang together or we shall all hang separately" most certainly applies


This is a very solid and I agree entirely.

It's also worth noting that the term "sex worker" has been in use since the seventies and has always included workers who do not offer full service, such as dommes and strippers. It was designed as an umbrella term.

My personal, maybe not terribly nice opinion is that dommes who don't consider themselves sex workers are a bit delusional.

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#11760 - 09/12/20 01:15 PM Re: Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it [Re: Mistress Ayn]
Swordfish Online   content
Artisan

Registered: 10/31/15
Posts: 83
Loc: California
Quote:
We are (adult workers) all in this together


We clients and customers of adult workers need to be in there with you! At least to the extent we can do so without losing our own jobs, etc.

Anyway! Interesting take on the term "sex worker" itself

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#11761 - 09/12/20 05:38 PM Re: Why do dommes seem to embrace the title SWer? I think they should distance from it [Re: John_Bolton]
Swordfish Online   content
Artisan

Registered: 10/31/15
Posts: 83
Loc: California
Right? That's what I thought eek

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