We need a few laughs during times like these.

What’s the funniest thing that ever happened to you in session? And that’s for both submissives and Mistresses. Let’s laugh at ourselves. I have a story or two, and I’ll share them later on. But please... share a few of your stories.

Just recently:
I had edible chocolate bodypaint. I wrote "lick" on my leg with the chocolate and told my sub to obey. We're always pretty silly. He takes a lick and then in the raspiest voice he goes "Chocccollllatttte." I immediately recognized the spongebob reference and started yelling

Me: "WHAT'RE THEY SELLING?"

Him: CHOCOLATTTTTE

ME: CHOCOLATEEEE?...I ALWAYS HATED IT!!

We were dying for about ten minutes and I had to wash my leg off in the end haha

The reference for those that don't know: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obBjKdhZ7-I

I had an afternoon session after which I went home and took doggo for a tour. Smiling like a loon at everyone I met because the session popped like anything. Everyone returned my smile with a quirky one of their own. Got home and discovered I still had a very slutty coat of red lipstick on (except for what came off on the strapon). I've also left still wearing a slave collar. And was once sent home with a vibrating butt plug - which at least was switched off. Until I sat down on the subway. Bzzzzzz.... If I recall, I think I tried acting like it was my phone.

One time I was in a session where I was strapped on the cross. My domme was walking and accidentally tripped and fell. She was ok and all, but I couldn’t help myself to laugh a little bit as it looked like something out of a comedy movie. The domme got up right into my face and said you think that’s funny? And I said actually it was as long as you weren’t hurt. Then she couldn’t help but laugh herself too. I still ended up getting 5 extra canning strokes for laughing so it was all good.

That is hilarious!!! I'll sometimes do that imitation "Chawwcolate". Most don't get it, but I love it when people do.

Thanks for sharing the laugh!

I promised I'd provide a couple of stories and here's one for today. It involves Empress Dominique who I served 1999 until 2001 when she was based in the NY/NJ area. (From what I understand the Empress is now in Florida, according to Fetlife.) We sessioned in a factory loft space she rented with one other Mistress on the Jersey City waterfront, a nice private well-equipped dungeon.

She liked my "jungleboy" roleplay of being captured by the Empress, Queen of the Jungle. After doing variations of it two or three times I asked the Empress if I could wear my homemade jungle print thong along with something else. She asked what it was. I saw some body makeup at a costume store that said "tiger stripes" or something like that. The Empress approved.

At the next session she let me come over a half hour early to prepare. I put most of it on my face, arms, chest and thighs. I looked like I was the offspring of Tarzan and a tiger. The Empress came in and was initially impressed. Since the building was usually empty she'd always encourage me to act like an animal and howl, grunt, etc. and with the makeup on, I even more than usual, rolling around in front of her to try and worship her feet and acted like, well, a "junglebeast."

All was going well until the Empress she started to giggle, then laugh. I stopped and she said, "Look around." The rug was filled with "tiger stripe" makeup. The makeup on my arms, legs and chest were all smudged and plenty was on the floor. I was mortified and immediately wanted to clean it. She waved me off and ordered me to continue. Of course I did and the mood wasn't broken. It went to the next level. I've never been a spanking or bondage guy, but the whole "Tarzan Tiger" thing inspired the Empress to give me the hardest spanking and "torture" on a cross I ever experienced from her.

At the end of the session she laughed again and told me to vacuum and clean the floor before allowing me to wash up, dress and drive her home. When I dropped her off at home she said, "Next time, just face makeup," and laughed again. I never did bring makeup again, so it was a unique and memorable session, one with more than a few laughs.

Somehow your role play reminds me of a movie I liked a lot "I love you" with Sonia Braga, like the scene when she was saying sometimes Me Tarzan,you Jane. Have you seen it?

No I haven’t, but vaguely remember it. I guess now is the time to catch up on it. Thanks.

Here's one that I hope won't offend any Dominas since it is about a lady I met who was always in control and dominant, but did provide other services.

In the mid-1990s I answered an ad from New York Magazine's old "Personals" classified section, which is now long gone. The ads were two or three lines and included ladies who provided massage, domination and escort. I called Gina (not her real name). This may offend some here but the lady provided all three services. Gina was maybe 40, Brazilian, with a deep, sexy voice and accent who was very assertive. I called, Gina liked what she heard and I got an appointment.

Gina had a nice two-bedroom apartment on East 51st Street off of 3rd Avenue. She usually had one other woman working with her. She had long blonde hair that usually fell over one shoulder or the other. Gina had that deep sexy accent, was very busty (she always bragged about that and had a lot to brag about), a thick, curvy figure, was about 5 ft. 6 in. or so without heels (I'm 6 ft. 1 in.). And she always wore red lipstick.

Gina approved of the Tarzan roleplay. The first session was Tarzan providing the Amazon Queen with a massage, and some body worship, while he got a hand spanking and she used her sexy accent to talk trash which drove me nuts. In the second session Tarzan was still the Amazon Queen's sub, but he was used for her complete pleasure... with maybe a spanking thrown in to show she was the boss.

After the second session and I was freshening up and getting dressed, Tina walked in with an animal print dress with spaghetti straps in her arm. "For the next session." I said something stupid like, "You'll look great in it." And grinned. We laughed, I thought she was joking, and I left thinking nothing of it.

I called a few weeks later for another appointment. She immediately said, in that sexy voice, "Is Tarzan ready to dress up?" As has often happened to me I let the wrong head do the talking. I stammered, said yes, and late one Saturday morning I nervously entered her apartment.

I was greeted by her young female assistant who was Brazilian but did not speak English. Gina called out to follow her into the bedroom and there was Tarzan's costume: the animal print dress with spaghetti straps; backless high heels that were at least one size too small for me; and a blonde woman's wig. The assistant motioned me to get undressed and helped me get into the dress, which was too tight in some areas and not tight enough in others. We couldn't get the straps on so I had bare shoulders. And then she put Gina's red lipstick on me, very heavy.

I didn't look in the mirror. It couldn't have been a pretty picture: hairy legs, flat chest, heavy lipstick, ridiculous looking hair... and wobbly on the high heels. Then Gina walked in, wearing a black bustier that made it look like her breasts were about to pop out of it, matching backless open-toed high heels, red lipstick and matching nails. The slight aroma of cocoa butter surrounded her.

She ordered me to try and walk around on the high heels, laughed and called Tarzan names in that deep, sexy Brazilian voice. She came close and squeezed my nipples, her curves just brushing against me. Gina breathily whispered in my ear something like, "TARZAN is a fucking SLUT!" bent me over and I thought she was going to take me from behind. (I was a virgin.)

Strangely Gina then went to bed, removed her high heels and her breasts popped out of her bustier. She growled, "SLUT! Come here! I want your lipstick on my big NIPPLES!" I hungrily struggled to crawl from the foot of the bed to Gina, whose legs were now wide open. I made sure my lips filled with red lipstick correctly surrounded each nipple.

Gina checked and with me kneeling in bed in front of her she grabbed my wig and threw it one way, grabbed the skirt, took it off over my head and threw it the other way, and aggressively grabbed my manhood and purred, "Tarzan, take care of your Jungle Queen."

After it was all over Gina's chest and face were covered with red lipstick, as was mine. She dragged me to shower and got in with me to scrub the evidence off of me. Dazed, confused and delighted I blurted out, "Why... what happened?"

Gina grinned and cooed in that sultry voice, "You no crossdresser... And I couldn't waste your big, hot cock." We both laughed and hugged.

I only saw her a couple more times after that. Went home to Brazil to see family and she did come back, but we lost touch. Hell of a woman.

Years ago a session in Philadelphia. Mistress pissed on me at the beginning of a session. After the session I drove back to hotel and decided to stop for a beer. Order beer take a big sip and person next to me moves away.
Holy shit. I smell like piss. Bolted immediately and went to shower.