Good question. Off the top of my head I am going to guess that it has to do with the Punishment Vibe. I will point out that it is a cliche in spanking fiction which makes it seem easier to accomplish than is the case.

It's important not to use "therapeutic" and "therapy" synonymously.

You can be stressed, have sex, and feel better afterwards. That's therapeutic.

You can have a problem, such as a trauma that created lasting psychological effects, and see a person who consciously applies treatment modalities with the goal of transforming those effects. That's therapy.

So, yes, anything we do can be therapeutic, including kink. But that doesn't make it therapy.

Can it be therapy? I think it's possible. The problem is that one's healing process can easily be undermined by making it erotic (you're practically asking for transference, for one). It's why ethical regulations in the professional practice of psychology say you can't do the sexy with your patients.




Why roll your eyes, Asp? If you aren't interested in how people may use their sexuality as a means to heal then simply disregard them.



The truth is that it is valuable to people. It may not be to you, or others reading this, but using BDSM as a tool for healing has created tangible change for people.

And as far as trying to legitimize sex work: I personally like to somewhat normalize the erotic trade, reduce the fear and stigma around it, and find ways to help people relate to it. I believe this will help get certain activities decriminalized.

One way to do this is to get people to understand that what sex workers do isn't just tits and dicks and fucking and cum (or whips and chains and whatever else people think we do), but it includes companionship, intimacy, acceptance (sometimes radically so), and even forms of love. Sure, for some it is just getting off, but I bet that most people -- especially those who are more serious participants -- would say that it's helped them feel better in a multitude of ways.

What "sex workers" do should be decriminalized. I have made love to many of the women I have paid to see, and in many instances it didn't focus on "tits and dicks and fucking and cum (or whips and chains and whatever else people think we do)" as you so eloquently put it, Mistress Tissa.

There is an obvious need for sex workers of all types in society, thousands of years ago and today. It is part of the human condition.

I have paid for the privilege to meet and experience ladies who would be considered by the outside world escorts, massusses, BDSM dominas, escort/dominas, female bodybuilders... you name the classifications. I met plenty. More than my share. All of them, in their own ways, were physically gorgeous. I walked out on a few. I got a bad vibe. The overwhelming majority were nice people, many with a great deal of empathy. (Maybe because I always turned to more mature ladies, mostly over 30 years old and beyond, who had experienced the world.)

This is a very intimate line of work. A barber, hairdresser, nurse or doctor is pretty intimate, but BDSM? Escort or fetish work? That jumps the shark. If you do the experience correctly you are opening up your soul to the lady. And, if you put yourself in the mindset that you are there to pleasure Her, she may open up part of her soul to you.

We need wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, grandparents, etc., etc. but based on history we need sex workers. They provide a service that fulfills a need, dare I say a therapy, that makes the world function such as it is. To continue to have sex workers demeaned and put in the shadows is bad for them and bad for society as a whole. Just sayin'...

As usual when we converse, we are in agreement in general but it is splitting hairs and language where we disagree. I don't despute the psychological benefits that many experience through BDSM play. It is tangible and real.

My issue is with those who try to make D/s about therapy alone to justify, or elevate, what they do above those who do it for the purpose that most of us session for. I believe that is because they don't see value in D/s as a valid sexual orientation abd therefore need this kind of thing to validate what they offer.

That is where my problem (and eye rolling) comes from... Not as a questioning of the healingb power of BDSM play in certain situations.