I would say she is newish. I have seen her ad for maybe a year or two. She is not one of the top names, but she is not unknown either.

And I provided several references, some in her area.

I will follow your and Cheyenne's advice and just explain my reservations and just move on if she continues to insist.

I have sessioned with a number of highly regarded professional Dommmes over the years. I have never been asked for any kind of official ID in order to schedule session.

If asked, I would not be comfortable providing it in advance of a session. My biggest concern is what happens with the information after the session ? How secure is the Domme's computer ? If she has a problem with LE, would it somehow be accessible to them ? Would anyone besides the Domme have access to the ID info ?

A lot can go very badly wrong, and it may not even be the Dommes fault. There are so many very high highly skilled Dommes that will session with references and deposits that it seems to me to be an unnecessary risk.

It's not common on the west coast at all. References and deposit are usually adequate. With that said, i know there's at least one disciplinarian that does require proof/verification of your real name - i'd love to see Her, but that's a no-go for me.

Its not common but Ive been asked a couple of times. It has been when i have been a long time between sessions and didn't have recent references. Ive been okay with providing it as it was with well established dommes. Both times they were comfortable after seeing the ID and didnt ask for a deposit.

Without references a deposit is a more common request.

I am fine with either or both.

I can't recall ever being asked for a photo ID prior to a session, but I don't see any problem with showing it - "here's my photo and here's my age." Done. I doubt that a mistress would record or even remember my name.

I do get annoyed with hotels that made a copy of my driver's license along with a credit card when checking in, but that's more about having to take my license out of my wallet rather than just showing it. And I think that I would be hesitant to allow a BDSM provider to make a physical or digital copy of my license. That could get into the wrong hands.

This is a very personal business and, the ladies are the ones taking most of the risk. So, I very much respect a lady conducting business in a manner in which she feels comfortable. I've been retired for years. Perhaps, thing have changed. Perhaps, I was just lucky. But, in 20 years of full time sessions and, being quite busy, I never had an issue that an id would have made a difference, not for sessions. (Videos, it is a requirement of the law.) I managed to screen through email and, phone interviews with no problems. Only one loony that I can think of got through the cracks, in all of that time. An id would not have mattered in that case. He was quickly cut loose and, banned from my studio. Fortunately, he lived in another state so stalking would have been difficult. Stalking happens to attorneys, even doctors, ex girlfriends, ect. An id doesn't stop a mentally unstable person. I had the fortunate experience as an active Dom to have amazing clients. I tend to think that ProDom attracts good people.

This being said, in no way am I disputing how a Dominatrix chooses to run her business. It is a very personal business and, no one can tell anyone else what should make them comfortable. It has just been my experience that knowing someone's legal name doesn't seem to matter with sessions...nor, were there a bunch of crazies trying to make appointments. I miss the session days some times...but, when it comes to the associated risks, that are numerous, I am glad to have had a ton of fun and, retire early.

I’m with you 100% on this. I’d have no problem just showing the ID in person but no way am I going to email a copy or even let someone copy it. There’s too many scenarios where someone could access a computer or email. I wouldn’t want my ID just sitting in cyberspace.

subjohn, some Dommes ask for IDs. I don't know everyone who does, but I would imagine that it's something for people who have no one to vouch for them. So, if you have legit pros who can give you a reference, then either She doesn't feel comfortable receiving a reference from those Dommes (sorry to say, you can't trust that every Domme vets safely), She is just being extra careful, or She's new and doesn't quite know how things typically go.

You could politely ask Her about it. Ultimately, just respect that's how She feels safe and either agree to Her protocol or don't.



When it comes to safety measures, it's not about eliminating risk. None of us can eliminate risk -- with anything.

When understanding the psychology of a predator, some methods will reduce your risk of being a victim. And ID can do that and it's why some Dommes may ask for it.

THIS

I recently had a big scare because a Domme that I sessioned with lost her phone. I trust her (otherwise I wouldn't session at all), but I know that my real name and phone number were on that phone, along with some of my bank information and if anyone managed to get a hold of the information, it could be a huge problem.

po

And, half of your business, unnecessarily. When Doms start to act as if the men in this business are some kind of lunatics, it tells me they don't know how to market.