But then he'd get what he deserves- they'd put him into "lala land", start the colonoscopy then have to stop it because he wasn't prepped right. He'd have to pay the bill, then go through it all over again and pay again!

Indeed!

Another facepalm email hit My inbox this weekend. All Dommes get emails from guys wanting to be lifestyle slaves, but this one takes the cake.

Hi, and good morning. I'm Dan(full name appeared here). I'm the author of, (**redacted: listed two published, in print books for sale on Amazon)

I've been on a mission, I've been through hell, and my work has been completed. I'm a philosopher, scientist, and sex enthusiast.
I'm contacting you today because I live at home, I'm 38, and Im in need of needing to be healthy. I've drank myself into a beer belly. I was a workaholic and alchohlic. I've been a protector for my mom's property.

I haven't had sex in 13 years, we live next door to murderer racists, and other bad things have happened. Our house was haunted. It's taken it's toll.

I'm a Christian. I was considered a prodigal son. Ive met Mary. And I was on a mission and I've had about 6 attempts on my life.
I live in Merced, Ca. I have no income. I was wondering if you or one of your mistresses will take me in? I can cook, clean, and I've been trained to have sex. I was hoping to get my health back. I have no kids, wife, and I'm not in trouble. I can drive too. I know it's a long shot asking you to help. You don't know me. But I'm a peaceful man. And I just want to live. If you can tell your fellow mistresses that would be great. I can work at a casino. But right now I feel so ugly. I can also do yard work. Please check out my books. Maybe they will tell you a little about me. Oh, I can also solve problems and I have software concepts and a technology for an electricity generator. I have about a million dollars worth of work.

Please email me if you have anyone who needs someone like me. Have a good day Mistress.

Read it all. Twice. Was no less confusing the second time.

Not sure how you could say no thanks to that.

Hahaha. Yeah, that's just what I need hanging around the house.

This came today:

I am going to buy some AMRN shares for U.
I am a Dwarf and investment Banker.
Want to be a slave. Amarin Corporation is your ticket
to ride.

At least he wants to continue to mature and grow (at least metaphorically)... Most guys would be satisfied with being a dwarf AND an investment banker, but he wante to be a higher achiever and someday attain being a slave.

Good on him