I was talking to a friend, and his wife's beloved dog needed an operation to save/extend it's life. The vet required payment in advance of 80% of the expected cost due to no shows on the day of the operation and difficulties getting paid.

Of course he paid. $7,000. With the rest due after the operation.

Yup - it's a societal problem.

I totally understand why pro dommes ask for deposits. That said, I'd still rather not be asked for one, just because, if I can not put that risk on myself, why would I? For many years, I had so many options for domination that I just skipped the dommes who charge deposits and went with the ones who didn't. These days, pretty much everyone charges a deposit, so I don't have that option of simply going to a no-deposit domme, so I pay it. It's not really an issue, like I said I understand the business reason, I just didn't see any reason to take that risk on if I didn't need to.

From what I can tell, most dommes, or at least the small number I've seen recently, charge a deposit for new customers but not all customers. I think this is extra-understandable, new customers are the most likely to flake.

One thing I've noted is that most dommes do not write down their deposit policy, and seem to informally administer it however. I've heard of some dommes, as long as you give them sufficient notice, will allow you to shift the appointment to a different day, one time. Others, it seems to be that if you cancel for any reason, at any time, you surrender the deposit, which isn't something I'd ever abide (but again, no hard feelings, just not something I'd do)

I'm late for just about everything EXCEPT for sessions. lol

po

Same po! Lol. I'm late for most things, except work and sessions.

I get why a deposit would be required if you've never seen a particular Domme before. Although I'm sure there are a lot of good people, I'm also sure there are a lot of flakes and crazies out there that would book a session and not show.

I am the complete opposite from you. Deposits are an inconvenience I can put up with. But for the mistresses I have a connection with, and probably Mistress Ayn would be one if we got to know each other, I would feel offended. I would still pay, but I would trust less somebody who knows me but still does not trust me. Fortunately this has not happened yet, and I do not speak only about mistresses.

On a side note, you should understand that a mistress has a lot of overhead so not showing up for a meeting without ample notice means stiffing her and more often than not even financial loss if she had to reserve the dungeon. Compensating for that is a matter of correctness and should have nothing to do with how much you like her.

I'm a confirmed Twitter hater! I lay almost all the negative changes in professional Domination at it's door. I'm in complete agreement with Mistress Ayn. Social media and the 6000000000000000000000 artificial Dommes that thrive on it, have created a false reality. High quality professional Domination is practiced by a relatively small group of Mistresses. If you are aiding and abetting these flim-flam harlots by sending them money, shame on you! Spend your money with a real Dominatrix who is spending money for equipment, continuing education, and Dungeon rent!

I would like to see the Buzz offer a Forum dedicated to exposing false social media Dommes!

I wonder if the issue is "people are becoming more flakey" or "it's much easier to send money electronically now, and businesses are increasingly taking advantage of their new ability to prevent flakes."

I suspect it's more the latter than the former, but I could be wrong about that.

I used to never mind paying deposits but lately I am more reserved and hesitant.

In the last year I have had two cancel. These were both experienced, legitimate, and have been in the community for years. I may session 2-3 times in a year so I take my sessions very seriously. From shaving myself to doing some self pegging training. This is a lot of prep time. For them it might be easier to reschedule but for me it’s more challenging based on my work and family.

In these situations I would prefer to have my money returned but from experience it is a hassle to do. I understand life happens but there should be some sort of compromise that is laid out when the other side cancels.

That's unfortunate to hear. It is important for Pros to understand that carving out time for a session can be difficult for a client and that the amping up mentally for a session is part of the appeal but it becomes a real let down if the session doesn't happen.

There are varying degrees of professionalism in every industry but it's disappointing to hear that these were established Dommes with good reputations. Are you saying that you did not get the deposit returned either?

Personally I can count the number of times I have canceled on one hand. If the person was local I would offer to add time to the session or reduce the tribute if he could reschedule. If the person was traveling I would try to refer him to another Domme. That is just the "right" thing to do. I don't think I have ever had to return a deposit but would not hesitate to do so. In fact, they wouldn't even have to ask.

For one I asked multiple times. They were in another state so I wanted the deposit returned as who knows when I will return. After many “undeliverable texts” I said to keep the deposit in the hopes I return one day. We both agreed to that along with other things. To think about it that was about 2 years ago.

The other is dealing with a family emergency so is continuously traveling between states. I rescheduled but ended up canceling as I realized I wouldn’t have the time to prepare. Still trying to find an ideal time to session but it’s tough as I try to prepare over a few week period.

Since I don’t session often due to a few reasons I take my session time very seriously. I try to avoid the temptation of scheduling a session unless I’m sure I’m ready and comfortable to do so.