In some cases, yes. In fact, I contacted a lawyer once about a potential lawsuit and was told that in order to contact him -- not talk to him -- I had to pay a fee. Which I did. Because I needed specialized help and he had great reviews.

Go do some research. You will see that some require application fees. In fact, if you've ever rented an apartment or got licensed they you paid one. I had to pay a fee to take an exam to get licensed when I worked in finance. These things cover associated costs.

That aside, it's really not fair to compare adult services with a plumber. Very differemt requirements, challenges, and risks. A plumber may not charge an application fee but they also don't have people calling them for phony talk about leaks in pipes...and, ohmygodonmygod, my pipe...MY PIPE IS ABOUT TO BURST! *click dialtone* We do, however.



Food for thought:

1. Your argument says that it's okay for clients make phony or abusive calls, emails, and form submissions but it's not okay for us to charge fees because it's "exploitative". Ergo: Men can exploit women but women cannot exploit men. Women should allow themselves to be exploited.

2. Your argument says that although you know that we are taken advantage of that we should tolerate it because it happens in other services. Ergo: Others suffer, so should you.

3. Your argument says that not every inquiry results in revenue. Ergo: People should accept that they must offer their expertise and labor for free.

The problem with these points, Chamberpot, is that they reflect belief systems that some of us do not agree with and realities we don't want to live in. I mean, you remember we're FemDoms, right?

Sure, I could offer free labor. And I do. I am right now. But if, say, 90% of your work fielding client inquiries would not result in revenue would you still make the argument above? Would you not try to find a way to reduce or eliminate spending your time this way? Knowingly allowing yourself to walk into these scenarios? Especially when some of it is abusive and degrading?

Do you really think any self-respecting FemDom is going to sit there and swallow that garbage year after year? Don't you think it will affect her attitude toward her work, toward men, toward the times she actually *wants* to offer free labor, as it likely would you, after a while? We're all only human, you know.



I'd love to give you a bunch of my emails over the years and see if you can tell which ones have "real potential" and which might have "potential?" and which are "maybe wanky but maybe serious?" and then which ones are "definitely wanky", then the "oh boy, here is another person harassing and being creepy to me again", and then the occasional "I'm going to find you and rape you" messages. I guarantee that unless you happen to have a fetish for all of that stuff you will get very, very tired of it and need to find a solution. It's really a matter of self-preservation. Intelligent people tend to be interested in that.



Well, that's the point of the website. For the provider to talk about who they are, what they do, and what they don't do. If they don't get that then I'd understand your point. I'd also understand if someone passed on that Domme because that might tell you something about her.

Perhaps in some rare cases, but I can't think of a personal service industry where application fees are the rule and not the exception. And lawyers sometimes need to establish attorney/client privacy privileges, which require some financial consideration.

Yes, and there are college application fees also. But that is about engaging an organization for some type of certification. Not the same as engaging an individual for a few hours of personal services. Also, the apartment rental or licensing firm would likely answer a few questions before taking the fee. No, it's not "OK". But it happens. It is part of doing business. Have you never walked into a store even though you had no intention of buying anything?And your argument says that someone selling a personal service for upwards of $500 an hour should also be immune from any type of sales cost or effort. So don't offer your expertise, just tell them if you are comfortable with their request. "No, I cannot sing opera while standing on your chest".



Oh, I absolutely would try to reduce the wasted time. For example I don't answer unknown numbers on my phone because they are probably "IRS agents" who are going to send me to jail if I don't send them Amazon Gift Cards.

One thing that I've seen Mistresses do is to send the response from an 'assistant' in a very business like fashion. Other Mistresses send responses that say things like "Yes, I'd like to make you my little b*tch" but others are strictly conventional business in tone.

So, charge a fee if you wish. I will seek out providers who are willing and able to answer a respectful question or two. And I would expect to be ignored for a salacious, disrespectful email, which I suspect will be treated as just another piece of spam. And I would not expect more than two responses before being asked to pay up or go away.

Application fees, like deposits, phone interviews and the like are required because of the antics of a a group of “clients”. It doesn’t much matter if only 10% of the people are causing 90% of the time wasting …whatever the percentage is impedes everyone else in the scene. Time is a finite resource and a dead end “inquiry” or no show for a session is time that could have been used to review our genuine inquiries or have sessions with us
And historically it is not as unprecedented as people may think, at least in NY. As far back as the late 80s and early 90s Ava Taurel, Angel Stern, the Nutcracker Suite and Pandora’s Box all required a fee, often in the range of $25-$50, to be able to come in and fill out the paperwork and review the portfolio.
I can understand the frustration people may have when confronted with the cost, but as the old joke goes us clients have to accept that “I have seen the enemy and he is us” is kind of true.

Hi Swinburne,

Not to be argumentative, but I sessioned with Ava Taurel, Pandora's, and Nutcracker in that same time period and not once was I asked or expected to pay any kind of application fee, nor for that matter was I asked to fill out any paperwork prior to sessioning. I was asked the usual questions on the phone and in pre-session conversation about fetishes, likes, dislikes and limits but was never was asked to put them on paper let alone asked to pay a fee to do so.

I realize that different people have difference experiences and perspectives. I also realize you are expressing your experiences but my experiences with Ava, Pandoras and Nutcracker were nothing like yours. I may be wrong with this observation, and if so I apologize, but I am pretty sure that Pandora's still does not have an application fee.

However, it is completely unfair to compare the Pandora business model to that of an independent Domme who feels application fees are appropriate for their practice. They are totally different business models.

If a Domme wants to charge an application fee then I say go for it. If a sub thinks that's unreasonable then that's fine too, don't pay it and look for another Domme who does not charge an application fee.

Personally, I would have no objection to paying an application fee if that fee is applied to the session tribute IF the session takes place. If I am paying $800 to $1,200 for a 2 or 3 hour session paying an application fee of $50 or so is pretty immaterial to me but I am uncomfortable paying an application fee on top of $400 to $500 and hour for session time. It's not because I am cheap or a dick, I just object to it as a matter of principle. I also would not call a Domme who felt the opposite of that opinion greedy or exploitive.

How a Domme manages/prices her practice is entirely up to her, just as how and with whom I choose to spend my money is up to me. I think there is plenty of room in the the ProDomme world for more than one business model and wish every ProDomme nothing but success in however you choose to manage your practice.

Well said nysubjack

Thanks for the reply and a civilized one at that. I agree that people can order their approach to clients how they want and those who choose not to see those mistressss are free to decline it doesn’t make them bad, just unwilling to go that way in order to secure a session. But I think it is necessary to consider why they choose to do it that way, and to concede it isn’t something they ginned up out of whole cloth or as a money grab which many people (albeit not you) imply. Things like application fees, or deposits or the request for ID and social media profiles are a response to what the people asking for them have encountered in dealing with clients. Complaints about no shows, flakes, time wasters and the likes have existed since time immemorial and this is one attempt at a solution to it, and many of those who have adopted it find that it works. They may lose some potential clients…but they lose (almost) all potential time wasters.
While I appreciate your comments I am certain that those places did require exactly what I describe…they may have changed of course but there is objective evidence of it. In the case of Angel Stern’s it can be found at NYU in the papers of Terrance Sellars. In the case of Pandora’s Box following is a link to the photographic essay by Susan Meiseles about Pandora’s Box. If you scroll through the photos there is actually a photo of the intake document a prospective client filled out on a clipboard in the small waiting room (also pictured) before they showed you the portfolio of pictures and gave you your “member number”. At Pandora’s it came on a folding business card and inside said simply “Rare Objets d’art” with a line for your number. I still have mine…

https://www.susanmeiselas.com/pandoras-box

Again too each his own…like the rates charged the rules of admission vary and that is fine. My experience is that those who require a bit more effort have tended to take those who did it more seriously when it was done helping accelerate the connection we are all seeking. Others experiences may vary.

I remember the application fee and form. I (vaguely) remember paying the fee at PB and I definitely remember the form at Angel Stern's. At one point, I couldn't remember my membership number at PB (I definitely did not get the business card) and, as I recall, they didn't make me pay the fee again, so maybe they changed up their practice at one point.

Thanks and I appreciate the kind words!

Hi again Swinburne and thank you also for a civilized reply to my post. Also replying to Palmer with this response.

I have no doubt that both of you guys are sharing your lived experiences which are different from my own. I don't think any of us are "wrong", I think our experiences were somewhat different based on the timing of the sessions.

Thanks again for expressing your differences of opinion in a civil manner!

Jack

Your analogy doesn't quite work. You're talking about the equivalent of someone "window shopping" which is the vast majority of traffic that me and all other Dommes get to our websites and galleries, into which I have put a lot of (free) work.

My analogy would be more like someone who kept coming to a store and repeatedly asked someone to do to work under false pretenses, to insult or degrade the staff...you can be sure they would not be welcome. Security may even be called.



Did you read my other comments in this thread? About why I ask for an "application fee"? I'm not sure if this comes from someone who doesn't understand why some of us have these charges or from someone who doesn't care.



Ohhhh, so that's all we have to do? Not answer anonymous numbers? I wish I'd known this 10 years ago!!



So, we should hire an assistant? Pay someone to field a bunch of fake inquiries? Instead of just asking for $10, 30, 50 to stop them in the fist place?



You don't really get the larger problem. It's not that we don't know how to do our jobs, it's that most of you don't know how to do yours.

And the flex of "you do you and I'll go somewhere else" doesn't really have the effect that some of you think it does. For me, an
"application fee" is a strategy, not a money-making opportunity. I filter out guys who appear to have no empathy for my distress and filter in the guys who do. It's a win for me.