We'll see. MBB is going to be out of the country the last 3 weeks of December and the 1st week of January so She is thinking about releasing me during Her time away.

I do have a key to allow me to wash the area and clean the cage and also so I can take it off for doctor appointments.

Up until last Locktober, I had never worn a cage except in session or in filming clips.

MBB had never locked anyone up before last year and She loves to tease, deny & humiliate me in chastity. She wishes more of Her subs would submit to it, even if it's remotely.

I used to offer chastity contracts to anyone who was interested. Now I only offer them to people I actually play with in person. I stopped offering them to just anybody because the experience was almost always painfully predictable, endlessly frustrating, and mindcrushingly boring.

First of all, I don't care too much about your dick or putting it in a cage, in and of itself. I think men's sexual identity revolves so heavily around their penis that they assume it does for women, too.

In my experience, most men aren't actually interested in Dominance. What would happen is that I lock them up and then an hour later they start sending me messages saying they need to get out of their cage because they want to go to the gym.

-_-

No. You do not get out of your cage for the damn gym. You get out WHEN I SAY YOU GET OUT.

So, we just got started and my pussy has already dried up and I want to dismiss this person because if they want to get out for the gym then they'll want to get out for all sorts of things -- and that's not a chastity contract, that's having me as your on-call service top.

I remember one guy told me he was in business and flew like 5 days a week and then went to the gym and sometimes the beach and when I asked him for numbers it came out to his wanting to get out of his device like 25 of the 30 days of the month. How is that chastity? Do that kind of play with your wife, ya knucklehead.

No one wanted to tribute enough, either. "Mistress, I want you to control my cock and I want to email you everyday and maybe a phone call or two and also have a cam session once a month. I can do $100 a month." Never going to happen. Waaaay too much work.

After years of mostly this kind of thing I threw in the towel.

Is it possible for a locked up dude to go to the gym and conceal the lockup?

I agree with everything you said. It seems like most of the excitement of D/s involves a little bit of knowing each other which you likely wouldn't get in a professional relationship.

Also, after being truly chaste for a while some guys testosterone levels adjust, go down, and instead of being horny all of the time they get depressed.

Yes. My ex did it. He went to the gym all the time.



I will disagree with you here. The "professional" part (i.e. tribute for experience) doesn't magically make the humanity disappear. But it also depends on how you play. I'm very personal and intimate and work best with subs ready and willing. I regularly have someone walk in the room, I read him/her like a book, they surrender to me, and...magic.



Sure but lots of things can make you depressed, though. And in this case the lock-up may not be the actual cause. It can be the trigger for deeper things like the cage being a physical manifestation/enforcement of one's fear of intimacy. Cue depression.

I wasn't thinking of money being a factor, just time spent with each other to form enough to know each other enough for D/s to take root. Time spent in a professional situation is limited.



At last! Another person who sees that BDSM *can* be about avoiding intimacy. It is amazing how many people don't see this or at least say it out loud.

I also agree that many things can cause depression.

However it also interesting how a few types of depression can easily clear up after a few days of masturbation. :-)

This is only the second year MBB & I have tried chastity. She really enjoys tease & denial and humiliating me now that my cock has become useless except for pissing. And I love it when She teases & humiliates me.

Mistress Tissa,

Thank you for your insights and perspective. I find it very interesting.

Like chastity, and all other types of BDSM - if there is a connection and a commitment, that is when SPECIAL happens. Understanding each others perspective and what they get from it and fueling the fire makes it SO GOOD!

Your examples are excellent. Going to the gym - Really? Suck it up and go. Ain't nobody looking at your junk that closely. And if it hurts or rubs a bit - on well! You are doing it as part of a commitment within the dynamic. You are either committed or not!

Again, thank you! And for what it is worth, I hold you in high regards. We would mesh so well. The real deal. Just sayin'!

Celeste

Oh, ok.



I'm not entire sure what you mean when you say "take root", but you don't need to know someone for D/s to happen. At least I don't. Power exchange only needs people's willingness. That's why I said people walk in, I know how to read them, they give in, and power is exchanged.

A relationship between two (or more) people can deepen over time, and it can affect that willingness, but it's not actually necessary to experience "rooting".



Have you written about it? I'd love to read what you have to say.



Do you mean depression or sadness/loneliness? Because while orgasm does release a variety of chemicals that can temporarily alleviate a negative mood actual depression wouldn't be cleared up by masturbating -- or we wouldn't have a serious problem with it.

I haven't. It is just an observation I've had over the years.




No.

I only meant that some men when they are chaste get depressed as the testosterone levels in their bodies adjust to that and once they start masturbating/getting sex/orgasming again regularly it clears up fast.