A lot of the threads here seem to me to be about specific physical acts, but for me the aspect of FemDom that is most fascinating and exciting is the emotional. For instance the feeling of vulernability. Even more specifically, i think its feeling both vulnerable AND at the same time not being anxious or triggered by being vulnerable. So that is really the art of the Domme, building up the bond and deepening the level of commitment and trust ...so that if i can be able to feel committed and trust that im doing the right thing by being vulnerable then its a space that is really powerful. Being vulnerable in the sense of giving up power and autonomy, or being vulnerable in the sense of being subject to Her control/ abuse whether physical or psychological ....

In my vanilla life, ive been working on allowing myself to be more vulnerable in the sense of being willing to share my feelings in work or other interactions ...and the experience im having exploring vulnerability is really an important for me.

Very true. Learning to open up, trust your Mistress and make yourself vulnerable, is a very important part of achieving a submissive head space.

I don't think what we do is the same for everyone, so I am not doubting that what you have said is true for you & many others. But, I can say that it is not true at all for me. Personally, I do it for the pleasure I get by pleasing women & the exchange of that pleasurable experience. I don't get vulnerable, especially with Pros, because MY experience is that they do not want that & it tends to actually end relationships with them if I am more emotional & share my feelings. So, I leave vulnerability to my vanilla relationships.

Also, there is a difference between clients who are really just fetishists getting that itch scratched (with the exception of transformation because I think vulnerability is a large part of that experience & is highly attractive to the Dommes doing that) & clients who are actually subs. Which is why the physical is easier to post about since that does translate across the entire spectrum of clients.

Hi AspX:

I agree with you that vulnerability is not the same for everyone.



There are also different levels of vulnerability. With a pro, I have to have boundaries in order to maintain a healthy connection. When I first started, I had no idea what those even were. It's been a long journey!

...and what a strange, but extremely enjoyable, one it has been

Thanks for the thoughtful response.

I think the point about not sharing emotions if its not welcome is important but for some, and i have had the luck to serve some Dommmes, and one in particular whom i serve now, who encourage sharing of thoughts and feelings about the experience. i suppose that might be different if the thoughts and feelings were negative, of course.

i was asked recently in a vanilla conversation about skills for communication in a professional environment and i mentioned that i find i can communicate at work more readily if i can share my feelings and not just the facts of the matter. The person who was coaching me on the comms said "are you able to be that vulnerable with others"?

i thought immediately of my experiences allowing myself to be emotionally open and vulnerable in bdsm play and thought, yes i can and i even feel liberated by it (compared to my instinct in vanilla life to be very self-restrained about my feelings).

it need not be of course sharing of emotions though to be vulnerable. i think far and away the most vulnerable i have ever felt was being stripped and bound ass-up on a bench as my Owner answered a knock at the door to let in another person She had arranged to come by to fuck me ....i didnt know who this person was or what they would do to me and i would never see them ...but i felt vulnerable and at the same time very open because i knew i could trust my Owner ...that is the sort of vulnerability i had in mind...

First, thank you for the well considered & thoughtful reply.

Second, I do think there is a major difference between expressing emotional vulnerability with your Domme in a collared & dedicated relationship vs a more limited one.

Third, I do have relationships with several Dommes that are so long-standing & deep that they have told me they love me & I have genuinely responded in kind. So, its not that I am emotionally closed off with my Dommes when they initiate it. But, I think of vulnerability as being able to open up & share my innermost thoughts (both good & bad) & that is where I was coming from in my reply.



Finally, I think it's awesome that you were able to experience something so transformative. I actually have had too many experiences to count where I have put similar levels of trust in a Domme during play & actually have never had a bad experience when doing that. I have just never felt vulnerable while doing that in the way you did during that experience.

Something that captivates me about BDSM is vulnerability. In many ways the commodification of BDSM has made it seem as if it's purely transactional but at the end of the day, what is communicated in a session as energy is exchanged is priceless.

I love when a sub or slave surrenders his vulnerability to Me.

I think of the feeling and little grin fills my face.

______________________
GiaPeccato.com

+1