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#19573 - 01/27/24 05:36 AM
Re: Random musings from a session junkie
[Re: furfan]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 07/12/19
Posts: 2304
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Very well put.
Over the years, I found that some clients want certain tasks performed in a certain way and are thrilled if you follow the "Script," they proposed. It was usually a fun, light hearted session that we both enjoyed. No heavy head trip. Just good fun.
Other clients wanted and needed "Mind readers." When someone is forking over the kind of money required for a session, especially an extended one, that puts a lot of pressure on a dom. At least, it did me. How not to bottom from the top but provide what the client is paying for? The method I eventually came up with was to ask open ended questions about previous and fantasized experiences, as well as how the client imagined feeling. The feeling part was key. As zen as it may sound, I'd spend 15 minutes before a session with my palms up to the sky releasing my energy. In the warm up with my client, he'd begin to surrender and release his. Then, I'd let the energy in the room guide the session. Sounds completely weird and, it was. After extended sessions, it would take a few days to get myself grounded. The client and I both had been on a wild emotional ride. But, it all worked.
To the original poster, I love his attitude. A client often makes or breaks or own session.
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#19575 - 01/27/24 06:02 AM
Re: Random musings from a session junkie
[Re: Cheyenne]
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Addict
Registered: 01/20/21
Posts: 416
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Very well put.
Over the years, I found that some clients want certain tasks performed in a certain way and are thrilled if you follow the "Script," they proposed. It was usually a fun, light hearted session that we both enjoyed. No heavy head trip. Just good fun.
Other clients wanted and needed "Mind readers." When someone is forking over the kind of money required for a session, especially an extended one, that puts a lot of pressure on a dom. At least, it did me. How not to bottom from the top but provide what the client is paying for? The method I eventually came up with was to ask open ended questions about previous and fantasized experiences, as well as how the client imagined feeling. The feeling part was key. As zen as it may sound, I'd spend 15 minutes before a session with my palms up to the sky releasing my energy. In the warm up with my client, he'd begin to surrender and release his. Then, I'd let the energy in the room guide the session. Sounds completely weird and, it was. After extended sessions, it would take a few days to get myself grounded. The client and I both had been on a wild emotional ride. But, it all worked.
To the original poster, I love his attitude. A client often makes or breaks or own session. Great technique. For me, open ended questions presession and even after I'm restrained that encourage me to talk about past experiences, things Dommes have "threatened" to do or things I have seen or read about is an effective way to communicate interests and desires. I prefer to maintain the illusion of the Domme being 100% in charge and my being totally powerless so actually having to ask for things openly can be a mood wrecker and turnoff.
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#19593 - 01/27/24 04:31 PM
Re: Random musings from a session junkie
[Re: furfan]
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Sage
Registered: 11/02/15
Posts: 778
Loc: Philadelphia
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Don't you know Dommes are supposed to be mind readers? To be honest, I sometimes am. But I also am trying to control the scene. And so my primary focus in on doing that and not the ways the sub may be trying to steer me elsewhere. I want the Domme completely in control and to make all the decisions. I want to be totally helpless and at her mercy......... but, she needs to do all the things that turn me on and none of the ones that don't. The intensity levels need to be not too harsh, not to soft but just right. The bondage needs to be tough and challenging but not too challenging. The time spent on each activity needs to be just right.
...
All joking aside, I suspect Dommes feel that way about clients sometimes? Not often, actually. I think the better you are at the pre-production the less likely this is to happen. But, still, there are people who aren't being honest with themselves, so they communicate what they *think* they want and then realize it's not what they really want and a few times here and there this has been put in my lap.
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