I have 20 years of experience Mistress

OK, then I don't understand wanting to structure your session around your using a safeword? Unless it isn't D/s and you don't use other methods of communication?

Either way, if you would like to request a scene just do so through my site.

Safewords are a whole other topic but I can say in around 40 years of doing sessions I’ve rarely discussed them or been given one. it would seem the goal or desire would be not to safeword but everyone plays differently. I can say that the Dommes I have played with have always been able to read me very well and I can remember a time or two where I just was not in a good head space and said something to the effect and the scene stopped. I still regret those times too even after many years.

I've been sessioning almost as long as you have and that's been exactly my experience. Rarely given a safeword, I don't remember ever using it. I too have cut a couple (out of hundreds) of sessions short but that was because we just weren't a good fit, and had nothing to do with activities that might warrant a safeword.

If a sub is so nonresponsive that the Domme can't get any reaction to read, that's a different story. But those are subs few Dommes want to play with, safeword of no safeword.

I'm interested to know more about what you mean by "not in a good head space". Is it a kind of "eh, I'm not feeling this today"? Or a something-is-very-wrong emergency? Because I've never had anyone stop me mid-scene and I'm curious about what has caused people to want to end it.

The one time that sticks out when I think of this is I had a hotel session scheduled with an out of town Domme I loved and had many good sessions with in the past. It was a late session to begin with and I got stuck even later at work and had to text her a couple times telling her I was still coming which she was cool about . On top of that my wife kept texting me about some problem right up to my arrival at the hotel. I was still agitated when I walked in worried about more texts. The Domme and I caught up for awhile and the session began but my mind just wasn’t fully with it. She wrapped me in cling film which made me very hot and I just realised I wasn’t going to be into it that night and told her that.
When I think of this incident which I do periodically I always feel I took the easy way out and should have pushed through like I do with most things.

I have had people tell me things like this before. They're distracted by something. I then un-distract them.

I guess the Domme wasn't able to successfully pull you into the scene? Or maybe you had already decided on some level that you were not going to allow yourself to be pulled?

I once had a frequent client who experienced the same. He had issues going on at home. He was a great client before and after. But, quite uncharacteristically, for him, he was too distracted with family issues that had come up after he booked the session. I gave him his money back and saw in a few weeks later. It is understandable and it happens.

This happened to me once with a Mistress I knew well and had see three or four times previously. She only travelled to NYC once a year, which meant I would have to set up a session a week or two in advance.

By the day of my session I was in a dark place personally. I couldn't and didn't want to cancel. I emailed and requested she do something I had never done with anyone before, pretty hardcore stuff. As I got undressed and she prepared in another room, a wave of depression came over me and I was close to tearing up. I said I had to leave, but she saw my distress and insisted I stay. She went back inside to change back into her street clothes, and had me sit next to her on a couch and asked me what was wrong. She hugged and comforted me, listening and providing support.

Oh it was not a session. But it was an overwhelmingly generous and powerful gesture by a very caring person I still consider a friend. I'll never forget it.

If I remember right she didn’t try to pull me back but I’m guessing that she could tell by my demeanour and tone that I had given up the session. We were pretty good friends. She knew me pretty well. So I probably didn’t seem pullable at that moment in time. It still sticks out in my mind I’m not sure why. Probably because of my personality fwiw.