Usually when you hear a Domme talking about cancellations it's the sub we are talking/complaining about, but cancellations happen on both sides of the proverbial fence. Mistresses have issues arise sometimes too: illness, family emergencies, etc. I am curious what others think is acceptable protocol in these circumstances. I myself have had to cancel/reschedule an appointment and it's something I never do lightly. If a sub cancels with me with less than 48 hours notice, I usually expect some sort of compensation (wish list item purchased, partial tribute, etc.) - especially if he doesn't immediately reschedule. I try to set the same standard for myself. If I can easily reschedule with the sub and no one is badly inconvenienced, I usually do nothing. However, if we are unable to reschedule I offer a discount off the next session, extra time in the next session, free access to my content site - something in way of a apology and compensation. I think that is just professional courtesy.

Some Dommes would disagree with me and that's fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and way of doing things - but I think it's kind of important that the sub know what a Domme's policy would be in these circumstances.

I would love to hear both sub and Mistress feedback to this topic.

Mistress, this happened a few years ago with a female domina who was a bodybuilder. She was visiting the US and we exchanged emails. Since I did not meet her before she did not give me her cell number. I was to call her hotel room and then come upstairs. Well, I for outside the hotel, called three times and left a message. And waited for almost an hour. I called one more time and she answered and apologized. She didn't pick up because she was being harassed by a former sub who demanded (!) a competitive wrestling session. I had to leave that day but we rescheduled for the following day and she gave me a significant break on her session price. The session itself was intense and the incident began a good warm domina / sub relationship for a few years until her retirement.

Things happen, but we live in a world where communication is easy, and if a mistress has to cancel an appointment with a client, unless she's been hit by a bus on the way to the session and her phone was crushed, usually there's enough time to contact the client and let him know that she won't be available for the appointment. She should do so. Along with this, the client should be available for last minute communication, too, so if she calls, texts, or e-mails a couple of hours before the appointment, he should get the word.

The mistress, too, should prioritize things that come up. You shouldn't cancel a session because an old college friend is in town and invites you to lunch - you tell your friend that you're busy but suggest meeting for coffee later. It's rare that illness comes on instantly, right beofre a session, so if you're not feeling well, you should contact the client and ask if he'd like to re-schedule.

And, know when you have other commitments before booking a session, and know when you have a session scheduled before making other appointments. How hard is that? If you're so busy that you can't handle your own schedule, you can afford to hire a secretary or a manager.

Thank you for this post. I have never stood up a Mistress or canceled a session with out fair notice. In your post you have set up the only honest and responsible way to deal with subs(customers).

All the best,
wolf

Well, one would think so. I only remember one debacle. I had a long standing client that was very picky about getting phone calls/texts outside of the prearranged confirmation call. We had a session for late afternoon and I woke up with a raging migraine. I sent him an email stating that I was taking something for it and going back to bed and would not be able to make the session. Come to find out, he does not own a smart phone, was unable to check email, called to confirm, didn't get an answer and then proceeded to My location to continue to get no answer. I am sure he was quite perplexed until he got home and saw My email. We worked through it and set up a new protocol for emergencies. Obviously it pays to have all this sorted out with the client prior to an emergency. I won't make that mistake again.





Absolutely. We all need to understand that subs/clients often have a much harder time carving time out of their schedule that we do. In addition they anticipate the session and to be let down, regardless of the reason is always a disappointment. The least we as Pro-Dommes can do is be aware and respectful of that.

Thank you, wolf. In My opinion, when you put the word "pro" in front of Domme, it comes with an obligation of professionalism.

Never having had a raging migrane myself, I don't know how bad that really is. I'd accept that it's bad enough to not want to do the session, but since you knew that he intended to call you to confirm, couldn't you have gone to bed with your phone on your pillow, accepted the discomfort of being awakened, and when he called, you could tell him not to come?

Perhaps you're one of those dommes who get so many phone calls that if you left your phone turned on, you'd never get any rest. You could change your outgoing message to say something like "It's Monday at 1 PM and I have such a bad migraine that I won't be available for today's appointments. I apologize, and please get back to me so we can re-schedule." It helps to have a phone dedicated to the mistressing biz so your mother or kid's school won't call you there and get that message.

Yet, I know there are some clients who do everything they can to minimize the data trail, and they can be hard to reach on short notice.

I was going to New York for a day to attend a trade show, figured I had enough time to have a little fun, and made an appointment with a disciplinarian who I'd been wanting to see there for a long time. We set up a date and time by e-mail, and she confirmed it the day before, giving me her address. I figured it was one of those buildings where you needed to be buzzed in, and assumed that I'd call when I got to the building and she'd let me in and tell me where to go when I arrived. I had a semi-smart phone at the time. I wasn't set up for text messages, but I was able to make calls and send and recieve e-mail. When I got to her building, the lobby door was open, so I called her from the lobby and got voice mail . . . again and again. I sent a couple of e-mails, and finally after an hour, I gave up and went back to the show. I e-mailed her the next day to ask what happened, and she never replied. I guess I'll never know about that one. I was disappointed, of course, but in this case all I was out was a subway fare and an hour of travel time.

Maybe I just happen to pick the flaky ones, but I've had two other similar experiences, both of which were confirmed the day before - both with the day of the week and the date - and in each case, the mistress wasn't there at the appointed time, believing that the appointment was for a different day. I can understand a mixup if we hadn't had any contact for a week or two prior to the session, but with a two-way exchange of e-mail the day before with clear reference to the date, there's really no excuse for being elsewhere. I was able to re-schedule one for the next day since I was in town for a few days (and she gave me some canollis as a peace offering), the other, I think it was about a year and a half later before we finally got together.

I have never had a cancel on the day of the session. Last fall I was contacted the day before by a domme who felt ill and wanted to reschedule. So we did. No problemo. There was another time I was contacted in the morning and the time got moved back an hour. As long as this is the exception and not the rule it doesn't bother me.

If you had ever experienced a migraine you would know that stringing two sentences together is an effort. It's like a jackhammer going off in your head. You just want to be alone in a dark, silent room. At the time I had no concept that someone wouldn't/couldn't check email all day - especially once they didn't get an answer to their confirmation call. I know better now.

Regarding the flakes you have encountered, I think we have discussed this before. I don't know where you find your Dommes or how you vet them, but most Dommes with a traceable reputation are very reliable. Maybe you have just had bad luck. I can count the number of times I have cancelled on one hand and I am sure I have had waaay more sessions than you have

I'm pretty careful about who I see and it's rare that I don't have a good time. But I'm looking for a very specific thing, which means that the pool is smaller and newcomers don't usually get more than one review until (and if) they get established in the field. There are a handful of specialists who are very good and very reliable. If I stuck with three or four, I'd probalby never have a disappointment, but I like to experiment, and I've added a couple to my resource list that haven't made it to the "widely known" list.

I'm willing to take a chance now and then, but when you don't see many reviews or reports, there isn't much data about reliability. And with most of the not-well-known, this isn't a full time profession, so much as they would like to be known as such, they aren't always as fully "professional" as we'd like.